Time flies

... but only in retrospect in this case. Two years ago today I received a phone call that changed my life, the one where you hear "you have cancer" and everything after that sounds like Charlie Browns teacher Mrs. Orthmork.  It was a glorious Friday afternoon and Dori and I sat in the backyard with hounds and screamed fuck for an hour.  I saw a surgeon on Monday who referred me to a medical oncologist. The volume of information came swiftly with not enough time to comprehend it all. Except, "you're going to lose your hair, all of your hair" and I did, but first it hurt. I have been so hungover that my hair hurt, this was worse. Alas, I digress, the upshot was that the plan was for 6 rounds of TCHP (taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, and perjeta) thankfully the perjeta got dropped shortly after we discussed the inclination of my guts to rebel, and they rebeled big time.  My first procedure after the biopsy was port installation, never having had any anesthesia beyond Novocaine, this was nerve wracking, as was the first mri. After the initial bout of chemo, I had 6 weeks to recover from the chemo which was a white-hot bitch and have a lumpectomy that removed 48 grams of tissue (less than 2 ounces), though I'm still walking lopsided and now can foretell the weather. After 6 weeks of recovery from that (slowed me down so much I was throwing hatchets the very next week)

I started with immunotherapy (herceptin) and radiation-21 rounds- 5 days a week. After recovery from radiation, onto targeted chemo -herceptin and an antineoplastic agent whose name escapes) my rudimentary understanding is that the herceptin works on hormone receptors in such a way that the antineo kills any cancer cells that survived the first rounds of chemo, and the radiation and the surgery. So as i say to myself 100 times per day, every day I AM CURED. And I am grateful. 

Scorecard for my own need for accounting

6 rounds of TCH chemo

1 lumpectomy

1 port installation

1 port removal

21 rounds of radiation

4 rounds of immunotherapy

14 rounds of targeted chemo

9 (and counting mammograms, not including the 25 clean ones I've had previously (

port out

Chemotherapeutic agents are often, not surprisingly toxic and if you don't have a chest port stand an excellent chance of messing up your smaller veins. Mine was removed yesterday indicating that aside from follow up appointments and hormone blockers I am done with this adventure. Blessed be.

...NED

Best news I had today...

IMPRESSION: There is no mammographic evidence of malignancy.

Monday...

On Monday April 3rd, I'm scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram, on Wednesday April 5th I am scheduled for my final round of chemo and it fucking better be or I will lose my damned mind. 

I know few folks aside from myself who keep score of this stuff but for the record. 

24 rounds of chemo (including immunotherapy and targeted chemo as well as systemic)

21 rounds of radiation

7 echocardiograms

6 mammograms

2 ultrasounds of the breasts

7 months of hormone blockers (53 more to go)

1 needle biopsy

1 port insertion 

1 lumpectomy

Update! 1 port removal! 

Things I know now -

For me the antinausea drugs were not as effective as medical marijuana, same for the anti diarrheals. 

Happy Anniversary to the stump

A year ago today I had my lumpectomy. At the time I was bald as an egg and done with systemic chemo not quite having realized I had 18 treatments remaining for a grand total of 24. I knew I would be undergoing radiation therapy once I recovered from surgery. I had only had one previous procedure involving anesthesia (the installation of the porta Cath). I anticipated a great deal more pain than I experienced I think I took 2 Tylenol with codeine after surgery and 2 regular Tylenol the following day. This was not a massive procedure, less than 50 grams of cancer and margins were removed.  Surgical glue meant no need to remove sutures, and 1 week later we started throwing in the hatchet league. 

How this goes

Currently I am engaged in targeted chemo but have previously experienced chemo, immunotherapy, radiation therapy and hormone blockers.

First, chemo therapy a/k/a rat poison - you can tell this is going to be fun because they premedicate you with Benadryl, dexamethasone (steroids) , and at least one if not two anti nausea meds. I think I was getting 4 bags over about 2-2.5 hours, once the pharmacy worked their magic. Blood work is ordered prior so they can determine you're healthy enough to tolerate the treatment. Dr. Google can help you determine they most common side effects as well as the less common that keep things adventurous - for example, most folks lose their hair. My hair/scalp hurt so damned much I pulled about a quarter of it out prior to shaving my head. Too much fun.  Had 6 rounds of this fun with some diabolical side effects, lost a bunch of weight and for the first time in my life was admonished for it. The first round of the chemo meds is given more slowly than subsequent episodes in case you're having really ugly reactions or whatever clinical decisions are appropriate.  It was about a nine hour day and it was good I brought snacks.

The next step was to remove the tumor via lumpectomy, my breast remains largely intact as less than 2 ounces of boob guts were removed, though I still refer to the remainder as my stump for my own amusement. 

While recovering from the surgery we started with immunotherapy which is just one drug and no premeds, but the drug can damage my heart, so quarterly echocardiograms are on the menu. Immunotherapy I tolerated way better than the original.

Radiation, other than the disconcerting bacon smell and gymnastics required to stick the dismount. I found that Rejuvaskin Skin repair to be really helpful on the scorched surfaces and in an unexpected bonus I'm not allergic to it. So radiation Not so bad - although toward the end there was a lot more reflux and irritation to my esophagus. Bearable but not fun. 

Targeted chemo again not so bad but not necessarily a laugh riot either. 

Neuropathy is a fucker, my left hand has been numb/pins and needles for about 18 months now. My grip strength is good thanks to PT and general relentlessness.

Hormone blockers - fuckin A, I had been on since August they took fucked with my hands so I'm off until next treatment and we will try another one.

what am I afraid of

1) recurrence.

2) lymph node involvement a/k/a spread

3) Alzheimer's

4) some fucking genius making marijuana and assisted suicide illegal

5) incapacitation

6)more fucking taxotere and Cisplatin 

What a Difference a year makes

The top photo was from last year, during the part of the adventure that left me bald.

The bottom is me today in my surly, feral crone mode.