My main occupation these days is a payroll queen. We pay once a month and today we closed at 10:00am. At 10:05, someone whirled insisting that his system problem was my problem and demanding I fix it. A) not my system, not my problem B) you're late you need to kiss my ass in Macy's window motherfucker so get gone. So in not so many words I told him to fuck off and I called his boss and told her that if he pulled this shit again he was going out the window and we're on the 7th floor.
Until I was 40 my greatest regret in life was that I'd not killed anyone and then I mellowed out, but today that good old rage was back. I was ready to choke the eyeballs out of this fucker.
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2 comments:
Some people do need to be vacuum packed and launched into the vast empty wastes of outer space.
I got tired of people I don't know knocking on my door, so I put up two conspicous signs--a bright red one that says NO SALESMEN and a forbidding black one that simply says PRIVATE. And still I get cretins knocking and ringing the bell.
Once, religious folk appeared. My then gf went to the door. The religious folk did not realize that she loves to fuck with fools. She asked them if God had sent them. Then she went and got the portable phone and called God to see if He had sent them. "He says He never heard of you." she told them. Then she closed the door and collapsed laughing at her own mischief.
She was absolutely evil and I absolutely loved her. I hope she is still tormenting cretins wherever she is.
I'm quite hostile to the religicals that ring my bell. In order to maximize the amount of hell-torment I can provide, my Saturday morning garb typically consists of the ubiquitous sports bra to best display my ink and a sarong and hiking boots. Your former gf sounds like a hoot and a half. Sounds like you miss her.
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