01 February 2023

How this goes

Currently I am engaged in targeted chemo but have previously experienced chemo, immunotherapy, radiation therapy and hormone blockers.

First, chemo therapy a/k/a rat poison - you can tell this is going to be fun because they premedicate you with Benadryl, dexamethasone (steroids) , and at least one if not two anti nausea meds. I think I was getting 4 bags over about 2-2.5 hours, once the pharmacy worked their magic. Blood work is ordered prior so they can determine you're healthy enough to tolerate the treatment. Dr. Google can help you determine they most common side effects as well as the less common that keep things adventurous - for example, most folks lose their hair. My hair/scalp hurt so damned much I pulled about a quarter of it out prior to shaving my head. Too much fun.  Had 6 rounds of this fun with some diabolical side effects, lost a bunch of weight and for the first time in my life was admonished for it. The first round of the chemo meds is given more slowly than subsequent episodes in case you're having really ugly reactions or whatever clinical decisions are appropriate.  It was about a nine hour day and it was good I brought snacks.

The next step was to remove the tumor via lumpectomy, my breast remains largely intact as less than 2 ounces of boob guts were removed, though I still refer to the remainder as my stump for my own amusement. 

While recovering from the surgery we started with immunotherapy which is just one drug and no premeds, but the drug can damage my heart, so quarterly echocardiograms are on the menu. Immunotherapy I tolerated way better than the original.

Radiation, other than the disconcerting bacon smell and gymnastics required to stick the dismount. I found that Rejuvaskin Skin repair to be really helpful on the scorched surfaces and in an unexpected bonus I'm not allergic to it. So radiation Not so bad - although toward the end there was a lot more reflux and irritation to my esophagus. Bearable but not fun. 

Targeted chemo again not so bad but not necessarily a laugh riot either. 

Neuropathy is a fucker, my left hand has been numb/pins and needles for about 18 months now. My grip strength is good thanks to PT and general relentlessness.

Hormone blockers - fuckin A, I had been on since August they took fucked with my hands so I'm off until next treatment and we will try another one.


what am I afraid of

1) recurrence.
2) lymph node involvement a/k/a spread
3) Alzheimer's
4) some fucking genius making marijuana and assisted suicide illegal
5) incapacitation
6)more fucking taxotere and Cisplatin