Good Thing, I'm Already Queen

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Though Obviously Not Evil Enough

Where there be cats, there be hairballs. And often as I loll about in my recliner there is a cat perched just over my head. Last night that was downfall, I was merrily typing away at a blog posting that ended up on the wrong blog and Puppy the cat briskly horked what felt like a footlong hairball down my neck.

So the 64% Evil rating seems to not phase her one little bit. Goddamn it to hell.

How Evil Am I?

You Are 64% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

Different Kind of Meme

Saw variations of this on a few blogs. My year in blogging, one can take the first paragraph of one’s first or last blogposting of the month for the past year. So here we go:

February 2008
As I've no doubt recounted here a time or two, I was raised Catholic and am now Buddhist, took some vows a few years ago. And it's interesting to sometimes hear how complex theories get dumbed down for the mainstream. I heard karma described as 'that's Buddhist for I'm rubber, you're glue'.

January 2008
Most days my commute consists of a 100 mile round trip and I decided to use my time slightly more wisely by listening to books on cd. So today, I'm listening to Pema Chodron "From Fear to Fearlessness". She speaks of maitri - loving kindness meditation and compassion and how we are connected to all beings. I've been doing a variation on the compassion meditation for years (having taken vows and such it's all part of the deal). I've heard several people speak on the subject, read about, listened to various other Buddhist teachers on the subject and gone to Buddha camp. and each time I've caught the part about being compassionate with oneself but it never really quite sunk in until today.

December 2007
I have been coughing up a lung for the better part of the last 10 days. And loath as I am to venture into a doc's office with the other germ spreaders (actually started into the doc in the box the other night but someone was vomicking into a waste can and I said to myself, "self, this here hack is not so bad", so I kept right on stepping.) Anyway, I hadn't previously realized that the antihistamines I take to keep the everyday allergens at bay (ya know, like the 3 cats) actually dry matters out so that I end up with this persistent evil cough. So, I've knocked off the friggin' antihistamines and the cough is dissipating finally. Yay!

November 2007
In a recent conversation with my friend S, we happened upon the topic of business casual. In her world, which is necessarily more formal than my world, business casual is casual clothing appropriate for business. In my world, business casual simply means your business is covered up, and when people come to work with their business showing we send people home.

October 2007
This one was entitled Epithets I’ve used more than once today.
Fucking moron
Quasi-literate sparrow fart
Living Proof that Evil and Moronic Can Peacefully Coexist
Fucking Idiot
Raving Douchebag
World's Only Living Brain Donor
Fucking Loon
Fartface
(This suggests what I’ve always suspected was true, I’m a foul mouthed relic with an extremely vivid vocabulary.)

September 2007
I sometimes get twisted up by mindfulness and my lack thereof, and then the even less mindful folk I'm often surrounded by, remind me that I'm not meant to get it all perfectly right. I just need to pay attention but if I pay too close attention I will lose my mind.

August 2007
While I am quite fluent in English, having spoken it all my life, I consider my native tongue to be Douchebag. Douchebag is a lot like English yet far more profane. Even when the preface douchebag is unuttered it is implied and at work it seldom remains unuttered these days.


July 2007
I have spent 23 years of the 46 working at the same place. 15 at the same job.
Spent 21 years, 10 months of it sober (some at the beginning, oddly more in the current phase of me life).




June 2007
Today is the 9th anniversary of Puppy the cat having adopted me. She was a grown cat at the time so I'm not sure of her age or date of birth but I am sure of what day she came home with me. So for the sentimental jackass part, to celebrate I ventured to Wegman's for a half pound of tuna (yellowfin, $21.99 lb. But it gets worse, I fire up the charcoal grill wait for the coals to become grey and hot for searing (but not too much because the cats don't like it) and grilled the tuna, sprayed with PAM for the grill but otherwise as is. No garlic, no lemon, no pepper no nothing. When it was done, I split it and seasoned mine and we sang happy birthday to Puppy(ok, so I sang and the other 2 just looked) and chowed on grilled tuna fish. It was lovely but I am a sentimental ass.

May 2007
My friend J and I were chatting via email and she asked me what animal does she bring to mind. Hers is a very leonine energy, coupled with a hawkish awareness and vigilance. So I said a lion hawk if there was such an animal. When I asked her what she thought I might embody, she said a wolf. Because, I'm a loner when I choose to be, social when I choose to be and mysterious. I can work with that.

April 2007
Got home at midnight on Friday, noticed a missive from the IRS in the mail, the were merely explaining that my serial killer like handwriting precluded them from reading my banking info to direct deposit my refund. If you've got to get mail from the IRS or the initials as I fondly refer to them, that's the kind to get.

March 2007
Wireless networking should be idiot proof for an ably accomplished idiot such as my self and my even more ably accomplished idiot friend but nooooooooooooooooooooooo..... Goddamn router.

Follow up to Why

Preparation H Ointment: Each tube contains: yeast as a live cell derivative (Bio-Dyne: Skin Respiratory Factor) 1% and shark liver oil 3%. Nonmedicinal ingredients: chlorhexidine gluconate, falba, flavor, lanolin, mineral oil and petrolatum. Tubes of 25, 50 and 75 g

No specifics to be gained aside from flavor. I'm guessing the shark liver oil is more zesty with a nice lemony flavor but we may not ever know.

Now my curiosity is turned to the possibility that one of the inert ingredients in Monistat -Magnesium Aluminum Silicate - is an active ingredient in road flares. Gives a whole sassy new meaning to come on baby light my fire, doesn't it?

F^ck, F&ck, F*ck

I did it again and don't even have the freakin' codeine as an excuse. I had a brief interlude before my torturer appointment to have some supper. So I fired up a skillet to heat some chicken, pasta and vodka sauce and didn't get it turned off until I returned from my appointment 90 minutes later. Obviously, I'm not suffering from any kind of obsessive disorders, but shit this inattentiveness ain't good.

Why?

Is there a flavoring agent in Preparation H?

The Times They Are a Changin'

I ventured to Costco today, and if one is familiar with Costco, one knows that the witching hours for free samples run from about 1130 or so until about 3 or so. And the selections generally vary among food groups. Not food pyramid food groups mind you, but beverages, snacks, meat, dessert and a cleaning product. So today we had quite the selection - the nearly ubiquitous chicken product - on this day a nugget in the shape of a dinosaur. Irish cheese that was priced to move post the day of St. Patrick, some deep fried turkey loaf, some kind of mango salsa-whole wheat pasta situation and lamb. I come from the school of thought that sheep make nice sweaters not such a nice entree, and well, lamb always seemed to run on the high end of edibles. I shot off a text message to the mothership, who seemed somewhat doubtful that what I report was indeed true and now I could kick myself for not having snapped a photo of the sheep offering.

Ponderings

Every now and then the 'defense of marriage crowd' gets their collective panties in a bunch about gay marriage and I wonder why it is they carry on so vociferously about gay marriage but don't make nearly as much noise about the liberalization of the divorce laws. And then we see the legally married folks in the news like your Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, your Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee or Kid Rock or whoever else. And what is it precisely that marriage is being protected from? And I could venture down the road of Michael Jackson and the party with whom he managed to reproduce. And I think you churchy motherfuckers need to pull your heads out of your asses one ear at a time and get real. It ain't the people who are fighting for the rights you take for granted that you need to protect marriage from. It's the morons who need a hundred dollars, a blood test and a coupla witnesses on a drunken tear in Vegas. And really it's the kids that need to be protected from marriage. See Brown, Nixmary, for starters.

I do understand that many in the Judeo Christian tradition find marriage to be a religious experience, Buddhists do not. It is an earthly pursuit and whether it is earthly or a religious pursuit, part of the point of it was the protection of kids. So maybe, just maybe society could work on that.

Random Stuff

As no doubt shocks you, I come from a long, long line of what in polite company is often referred to as smart alecks. Last night I was out for dinner with the parental units a/k/a Lil and Rupe and the youngest sister a/k/a Boog. We were dining in a small family owned and operated restaurant as my parents have dined with fair regularity for probably close to 30 years. And by fair regularity I mean weekly, but alas I digress. So one of our fellow patrons at an adjacent table is on the cell phone and Rupe and I find it hard to resist answering the questions she is asking of the party on the other side of the phone call (and by the way, she's initiating thhe phone calls... tacky) so at a point she says to her conversant, 'so are you alright?' My retort is I'm a tattooed bliss kitten, with a killer rack and an ass that won't quit. Rupe and Boog inhale their respective sips of beverage before choking with laughter. Lil doesn't hear me so I have to repeat myself, of course, this is the time when the background music fades to silence, so the other 10 people in the restaurant hear this revelation about me in all its descriptive glory to my motherships everlasting horror.

Speaking of everlasting horror, do you think former governor McGreevey and his estranged wife were expecting to be outted on the front page of the NY Post? And is it too too much to ask that their daughter be spared any of this at all?

Gratitude

Seems to me I ought to express gratitude to the univers more often than I do so here we go.

I'm grateful for my the lovely Miss S and her J. I'm grateful for my friends and family making up all the gradations of that scale that goes from nuts to not. I'm way grateful that the only time I've ever been client #9 of anything was when I got to the deli counter when they were still taking the last of the single digit numbers. I'm grateful for my job and all the things - tangible and not it brings to my life. Including but not limited to my alter ego - Laqueetah - evil attitudinal minion par excellence.

Now if you read that there last post prior to this one, it's rather obvious that I do harbor some discontent with the world as it is. The world being so fraught with pitfalls for children (see Brown, Nixmary - as awful as that situation is) the sex abuse scandal mentioned in previous posts. That nutbag Eliot Spitzer, can we get a big ol' and what the fuck were you thinking for him? And I could of course, go on and on ad nauseum. But I won't. Takes more energy than it's worth and it's energy that I can and will use to put good energy out into the universe. I have done a whole ass load of praying over the last 40 odd years, hell I could pray before I could read. And while I have questions in my mind as to the extent to which my prayers may or may not have helped improve anything, I know they sure didn't hurt. So, I hardly ever pray in Latin anymore, usually a mixture of Tibetan and English. And much of it is chanting which just melts my butter for reasons I can even describe but it doesn't hurt (well maybe the cats ears) and it might help.

New Deadly Sins

Please be advised that the article linked to below has set me off:

CNN Wayoflife

This here quote has me off for starters. "Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia.

He said Church authorities had reacted with rigorous measures to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but

he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media.

Emphasis mine.

Over the past 50 odd years 14,000 people filed complaints that they were abused by clergy and abuse related costs reached $2.3 billion. ( Clergy Sex Abuse Payouts Nearly Double). So it seems to me that the issue was inadequately emphasized by the media. One assumes the dollar amount quoted above is simply quantifying the amount paid to defend these claims and the attempts to pay damages to the victims. There is no earthly way to compute a dollar value on the kind of damage done to these victims.

Here's what I think, hell is going to have reserved seating, next to the furnace for the perpetrators and enablers of this abuse. If 14,000 people have filed claims then at least 140,000 people were abused by these holier than thou pedophile scum sucking, god licking whorebot priests and those unconscionable cowardly cretins that looked the other way, ignored the complaints, transferred the priest to an unsuspecting parish without warning them about the rumors, turned its back on the poor abused kid.

So this has bankrupted some dioceses - good, it's about damned time. I hope it bankrupts the Vatican. For this overblown overeducated sparrow fart of a Pope to accuse the media of having made too much of this travesty of church enabled abuse is indicative of the ongoing cluelessness of the Catholic Church and just how extinct it needs to be.

Having completed the vast majority of my formal education at Catholic Schools I believe I'm uniquely qualified to type this quote yet again: IF God is so smart, why doesn't he hire better help?

I found this bit of info fascinating as well.

A recent survey said that 60 percent of Italian Catholics do not go to confession.

Traditionally the Catholic church has had a list of seven deadly sins, that of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride established by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century.

The terms entered the popular vocabulary after the publication of Dante's "Divine Comedy."

The deadly sins are in contrast with venial sins - relatively minor sins that can be forgiven.

A person that commits a mortal sin risks burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence.

Now the Vatican says it is time to modernize the list to fit a global world.

I've got a news flash for them, as bad as it is to commit these sins that affect a global community, pedophilia transcends that because it puts the victim into a hell from which death is the only escape.