I am a sentimental jackass from hell

Today is the 9th anniversary of Puppy the cat having adopted me. She was a grown cat at the time so I'm not sure of her age or date of birth but I am sure of what day she came home with me. So for the sentimental jackass part, to celebrate I ventured to Wegman's for a half pound of tuna (yellowfin, $21.99 lb. But it gets worse, I fire up the charcoal grill wait for the coals to become grey and hot for searing (but not too much because the cats don't like it) and grilled the tuna, sprayed with PAM for the grill but otherwise as is. No garlic, no lemon, no pepper no nothing. When it was done, I split it and seasoned mine and we sang happy birthday to Puppy(ok, so I sang and the other 2 just looked) and chowed on grilled tuna fish. It was lovely but I am a sentimental ass.

Biography

For various reasons, lately in my professional life there have emerged requests for me to provide a biography. This is usually lackluster and so damnably dull I fall asleep writing it, but hey I'm an accountant so how much WOW! can one reasonably expect.

So here's the one I want to write,

A burly, yet sultry, surly mass of contradictions Sharkb has been occupying herself with paying work for more years that she cares to recall. Chief among the requirements of paying work would be that if it's not entertaining it must take place in silence. Hence, she often finds herself inviting people to help themselves to a hot steaming mug of shut the fuck up. She often entertains herself by baying at the moon, speaking with dogs, cats and fish, also dancing with her brassiere on her head (as a result of that her breasts are no longer amused with her). As a presenter she's highly entertaining and humorous but will lose her train of thought in a heartbeat.

So Crazy Doesn't Always Look or Smell Crazy

Among my very closest friends, I count a number of people who are inordinately sane and kind. All have different ways of coping with stress, but they all seem to cope quite well, so obviously resiliency is among their noteworthy traits. I am around a fairly large collection of people at work some who are friends, many who are not, many of whome are suffering from a bad case of the JFN's (which is DSM-V code for just fucking nuts - the only DSM code anyone will ever need). Somedays it's absolutely amazing how crazy some of the people are. I used to think that my employer held job fairs up at the Psych Hospital and recruited from bedside to deskside without passing go or parties involved necessarily getting therapy or treatment of any kind. Today has found me rethinking that theory, I was observing a fairly lively conversation regarding one coworker's vacation schedule and her boss, in his frustration, asked "don't any of you take vacation in the winter?" And no, they don't. Perhaps rather than being recruited out of the psych hospital which would still explain alot, the recruiting effort concentrates on off season out of work carnies as these folks are for sure an intinerant lot of colorful characters, in the main blessed with loud, booming voices and a steady amount of engaging patter which doesn't seem insane except in retrospect. So, yeah we recruit carnies. It explains a lot.

Observations from Work

It would appear from the contents of the toilets at work that a coworker is strengthening her nethers by carrying coinage in them (or it). Several of the toilets are beginning to look like coin strewn fountains. And I can tell that we who utilize the women's rest facility are all glancing at each other warily, thinking so what kind of freaky shit can you do with your whup now that you're using it as a change purse? Can you make change with it or is this just some kinked up version of a Kegel exercise? Should I ever in life ask for change of a dollar at work again? AND........... If you're keeping your coins in your whatsis, just where are you keeping your dollars?