27 September 2007

Then Again

I sometimes get twisted up by mindfulness and my lack thereof, and then the even less mindful folk I'm often surrounded by, remind me that I'm not meant to get it all perfectly right. I just need to pay attention but if I pay too close attention I will lose my mind.

22 September 2007

Almonds 1 Mindfulness 0

I awoke without the usual 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, I've slept through 3 alarms and have to get my ass to work panic', and yeah, mainly because it is Saturday and I don't have to get my ass to work., and did not have any of the alarms set. I decide a health breakfast is in order so I fire up a pot of water in which I shall drop some steel cut oats. By then, the coffee is ready but all over the counter again because I failed AGAIN to place the pot with sufficient precision to prevent a repeat of that debacle. Once I have that cleaned up the oats are cooked. And because all the 'healthy eating' reading I do suggests that they are a fine source of essential fatty acids and protein, blah, blah, blah... I toss a handful of almonds into the oats, douse the mess with some vanilla soymilk. And sit down to have a taste. It's then that I realize that clever me has tossed a handful of BOLD Jalapeno Smoked almonds onto my oatmeal with vanilla soymilk. I cannot say that it was 'good eatin' mainly because a) it wasn't, although it did grow on me and b) there was no chicken involved and for me, 'good eatin' usually involves chicken.

One might have thought that after the great Blackberry in the toilet debacle from back in the Spring I might be a little more mindful in general. This would seem not to be the case.

17 September 2007

Back from The Vet

After weeks and weeks of me dreading it, the low maintenance cats (Puppy and the Sharkbutt) and I were off to the vet this afternoon. Puppy is at least 11 or 12, as she was 2 or 3 when she got me and we've been together 9 years. Sharkbutt is 3. This years previous adventure with the vet involved a trip to the cat ER with Stripe and resulted in a 5 day hospital stay. So, how happy was I to trap the cats in their respective crates with no blood shed? Oh hell, how happy was I not to be outwitted by Puppy as I have been for the past three attempts at vet visits? Way, way happy and that the whole trip, shots and all cost me less than $140 is just extra deluxe!

Puppy is, not surprisingly hiding out and Sharkbutt is mildly irked and Stripe is just about dancing around that he didn't find his stripey ass in a crate.

16 September 2007

Bulletproof

I'm inclined to the Enell Line of sports bra, I like to refer to them as bullet proof. It's not entirely because of the 18 hooks in the front or that once ensconced in the cups the puppies don't move. But it is a combination of those things among a generally quality of construction that makes the twins feel pretty invulnerable.

14 September 2007

Ambition

I have never considered myself to be excessively ambitious, or even mildly ambitious. Then again, if one’s driving need is to be avoid being noticed by and therefore hit by the nuns, one might term it more of a survival instinct rather than an ambition. But, alas, as I do so often, I digress.

This brings me to my current whim, as queen of Jupiter, I find myself, not surprisingly up to my ass in syncophants and toadies and really what I need is minions, not necessarily evil ones, at least not evil all the time. And come to think of it I would make a really good minion. Both understanding the undesirability of syncophants, as well as having intimate knowledge of the whole ‘heavy the head that wears the crown’ thing. And varied dilemmas that face a leader. So my current whim is that I would make a really good minion. I’m too much of a smart ass to make a good syncophant or toadie, too much of an independent thinker with too much initiative to make a good flunky. So yeah, Sharkb, the evil minion, I love it.

10 September 2007

Arrggghhh!

Was sent to mandatory training today. This was approximately 2 months after I had to participate in mandatory system testing. And how might one test a computer system without a)having been trained or b)have the system be relatively intuitive (and as it turned out impossible for me to break - which has not happened before, breaking stuff is one of my best things, but I digress) So does this sound assbackward to you? Yes, to me too. And I was in the class with a lot of the dumb kids.

We're using what is essentially a relational database with ability to send email and correspondence. It ain't brain surgery by any stretch of the imagination. And while the database is searching, it greys out. So this one rocket scientist, says ooooh, I've still got a grey box. I'd shut my filters off so out of my mouth pops, "sounds like a personal problem to me.", in my Irish stage whisper, and people fell out. I was asked to leave class and that made me exceedingly happy.

08 September 2007

Fresh Hell

As is not uncommon in my home, which is dominated by the presence of three of the best cats ever. (ok, I lie but 2 of them are looking over my shoulder and I'm deeply afraid they can read) I awoke to the dulcet tones of a cat vomiting. Wasn't sure specifically where on the second floor this might have been taking place, so I vaulted out of bed (ok, again I lie, this was more of a crept out gingerly kind of deal) and as is my habit after quaffing the collection of pre-breakfast pills I seek out my Crocs and aha! I find the vomit, squished in between me toes. A plethora of choice epithets escaped my lips and I headed for the bathroom where I dispatched the vomick into the local sewerage system, feeling strangely grateful that I did not have to bust out the carpet cleaner.

07 September 2007

Strolling

The mothership and I took a stroll on one of the local boardwalks yesterday. She allowed as how she thought that boardwalk was a mile long, 'but we're moving slowly here, we've been walking for almost an hour and half and it should not take that long to walk 2 miles.' Well, lemme tell you this about that. This particular boardwalk is 2.5 miles long so we walked 5 miles in well under 2 hours. As I have one speed in my personal transmission and that speed is a saunter, and not a particularly brisk saunter this was pretty entertaining to me.

In chatting with the mothership, I was suprised to learn that she and the fathership have of late been frequenting Hooters, despite being offended by the charges for celery that appear on the lunch check. Who knew?

04 September 2007

Z and the Dancing Toilets

My sister was visiting the parental units with her family over the weekend. So I got to spend some time with each of her kids, including but not limited to my nephew Z. Z is in possession of one vivid imagination. He was explaining to me that he had a nightmare about dancing toilets that had him quite scared until his sister M came into his dream and told the toilets in no uncertain terms to go away and not come back. M has that kind of presence, if I were a dancing toilet I'd run screaming from the room.

01 September 2007

Labor Day Weekend

While many mourn the end of summer, I will be celebrating the freeing of the beaches. And no, I'm not the enemy of those who are often referred to pejoratively in this neck of the woods as Bennies. I am referring to the charging of beach fees and more specifically the termination of that practice as of Tuesday 4 September.

Coin of the Realm

Fairly religiously I administer Petromalt (a/k/a cat yak stuff) to the wild life and niavely I believe that will deliver me from the evil of cats vomiting. As I get older and wiser, I realize that vomit is coin of the realm for cats and a chief means of communication of displeasure. Yuck!

Then there's the whole cognitive dissonance created by the enthusiasm with which they lick their nether regions and then attempt to lick me.