30 October 2007

Epithets I have used More Than Once Today

Fucking moron
Quasi-literate sparrow fart
Living Proof that Evil and Moronic Can Peacefully Coexist
Fucking Idiot
Raving Douchebag
World's Only Living Brain Donor
Fucking Loon
Fartface

24 October 2007

Observation

If you've spent any kind of time in my presence it may become rather obvious to you, kind of quick like that I don't spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, or a mirror, any mirror. It is simply not high on my list of things to do with my eyeballs. But there are times when I just happen to find myself in front of a mirror. Mainly that'd be when washing my hands, (my mother's a nurse so the practice has been ingrained rather vividly) and when brushing my teeth. So I'm brushing my teeth last week and notce that the left side of my face is twitching, gently. This was Friday, it dissipated over the weekend but has cropped right back up this week. I'm somewhat less then entertained by it but it does make a good conversation piece sometimes. I don't feel like I'm grasping at straws when I note the correlation between the number of sentences I utter where every second word is f#*k and the speed with which my face is twitching.

20 October 2007

Stuff

Nothing quite like having the trucks engine decarbonized to put some pep back into the V6. Huge difference and no longer do we strain at 80mph.

Stripe is sitting up in the middle of the couch looking shockingly like Al Bundy from Married With Children except instead of having his hand down his nonexistent pants he was licking his penis. So sweet.

Don't know if it's a sign of my advanced age or what but lately when I've been shaving my legs I'm cutting myself. It's very attractive. I'd not drawn blood on myself in years and this is like the 10th time in a row. Disturbing.

18 October 2007

Truck Follies

So I took my beloved truck in for an oil change on Monday, and as always they promptly changed my oil and sent me on my way. And I ran some errands and the check engine light went on, so I went back. And they ran the diagnostic and changed the spark plugs, wires and fuel filter, then they sent me on my way. So I drove up to visit a friend and on my way home, check engine light came on again. So I brought it back the next day after work, and they gave me a lovely loaner - very swift. Some of the possibilities were kind of dire - needing a new engine, which I did not. Thankfully. This truck has 194,000 miles on it so it's just getting broken in and I really want it for at least another 100,000 miles. Which will take another couple of years.

14 October 2007

'Tude

I'm a New Jersey native and aside from the four years that I spent in Scranton, PA getting edumacated, I've lived here my entire life. And that's really not any of your business, but more than 30 years is all you need to know. So I'm quite familiar with attitude, shade, 'tude, mouth etc. Although, I will confess that it is taking me some getting used to the tone that my GPS device takes when I deviate from the proscribed route. The first statement of 'recalculating' somewhat nasal but machinelike as expected. By the second or third time, there is a distinct disdain to the tone. And by the fourth and fifth, it's almost a whine. Like the 'would you please make up your mind' from the lady selling lottery tickets at the cigar store.

And oddly, this is even since I've switched from the dulcet tones of American English Jill to Australian English Karen...

Ru'roh

There are some new cats in the 'hood and they're allowed to skulk about said 'hood. Whilst my cats are understandably fascinated by the snacks - a/k/a birds, squirrels and bunnies that gambol and cavort on the the lawn, their hackles are raised beyond the vertical by the presence of these feline interlopers. Stripe's nose is bleeding slightly from his attempt to race through the screen door to eat the visiting grey cat. Puppy, oddly because she's the only female amongst the cat life has the deepest growl of anyone. Possibly, including me. Pleased, she's not. As this cat has long been chased and she's still growling, oh, at the boys - Stripe and the Shark. So way not pleased.

11 October 2007

Land of the Red Rocks




Have I mentioned that I love Sedona? Love it. Love the air, love the altitude, love the hiking. Love it. Now, for me a week was plenty, 10 days might have been a bit better but the week was good.

09 October 2007

Random Thoughts on Returning From Sedona

The following exchange took place when I rented my car in Phoenix.

Enterprise dude: Are you taking the car out of the country?
me: No, just up to Sedona
E.D.: Oh up to Sedona, I hear aliens land there and kidnap people.
me: Yeah, they do, but they've learned their lesson about taking people visiting from NJ. We just take over, that's how I ended up Queen of Jupiter.


Whilst moseying up the Interstate from Phoenix to Sedona, I notice that when I take the diversions advised by the Enterprise dude that the GPS unit takes a tone with me when she says 'Recalculating'. Bitch.

Whilst hiking around Airport Mesa in Sedona, (home of one of the masculine energy vortexes) a thunderstorm commenced which is the universe's way of saying bitch, get off of my vortex.

08 October 2007

Her Wish is My Command

I was tagged for this meme by the enchanting Sassafras Mama at sassafrasmama.blogspot.com.

1) What I was doing ten years ago:
Ten years ago I was still awash in the maelstrom that was my life, pre Reiki, pre therapy. And it really wasn't pretty. Trust me on this one. If you knew me then, you've seen the changes, if you didn't you're better off.

2)What I was doing 5 years ago:
It started for me 7 years ago, in 2000 in was in gradual school (a/k/a graduate school) pursuing loosely a MPA with an emphasis on employee welfare and benefit programs.... and I said fuck it and dropped out. ...and decided that I wanted to go to massage school. And in June 2001, I started my studies in massage which led to my studies of Reiki, which essentially led to a several year long comprehensive study of Me, the Experiment in Crazed... So essentially 5 years ago I decided to change my life from the inside out and I have. Luckily for me.

3) What I was doing 1 year ago:
Still working on the experiment in crazed that is my life, I tried dating again for the first time in ages and ages. (I'd been in hermit mode for the better part of the last 17 years) And I met a most intriguing woman, a single mama, originally hailing from California. And yes, this woman would be the aforementioned Sassafras Mama.

4) Yesterday - at 445 AM I departed Sedona AZ, to drive to Phoenix to fly home to NJ, a/k/a the motherland. Usually I depart Sedona with mixed feelings and did so again. But only slightly, I was glad to be returning to NJ, but left with the knowledge that it's just a 5 hour flight to return. I returned to a warm(ish) greeting from the cats.

5) 5 Snacks I enjoy. Damn, only 5? Jalapeno cheddar chips, cheese, jalapeno smoked almonds, although, not in cereal. Watermelon - I can eat mass quantities of watermelon. Chocolate.

6) 5 Things I would do if I suddenly had $100 million: Pay off some mortgages for some folks, endow Namgyal Monastery with some scratch to build a Central Jersey meditation temple/monastery etc. Endow UMDNJ to have a branch of the Touch Research Institute here and give me a job massaging babies.

7)5 locations I would like to run away to: Maui, Sedona, Disney World, San Francisco, the jetty at Allenhurst (which if you're looking for me makes me pretty easy to find)

8) 5 bad habits I have: could stand to be more selective in my use of profanity, cereal as a side dish (often with chicken), lack o' mindfulness especially with some of my more self destructive behaviors, slatternliness and absolving myself of control over certain situations in order to avoid responsibility for them.

9) 5 things I like doing: hiking, staying up late to read my book; working out; reading, making people laugh, napping

10.) 5 TV shows I like: House, The Daily Show, Designing Women, Baseball,

11.) 5 things I hate doing: the cat boxes, really that's about the some total of things I hate doing.

12.) 5 Biggest joys of the moment: cats, snacks, being me,

And I tag Sharkbutt.blogspot.com... because well I know it will be funny.