Somedays I want

To exercise my keen command of gutter invective, and scream: "douche eared motherfuckers" whilst driving. It doesn't necessarily need to make sense especially if you snarl it with the proper intonation of disdain and menace. "Snot sucking fuckwad" is another favorite and I, of course, overuse the rhetorical "what's your fucking problem, did you douche with mace or stupid?"

After more years of therapy than I can recall, I can still find anger every damn day. Every damn day, for more than 30 years. I suppose I was expecting to be done being angry at some point. And I know at certain points I was afraid to stop being angry. But this is not that. I get tired of anger being my instinctive reaction so often still.

I can keep it in check when the parties at whom I might direct it, whether justifiably or not are important enough to me to work at managing it. But I am surprised that I still struggle with it every day. Still.