This evenings adventure was shihonage. Or as I like to call it goddamn shihonage. For me it is one of the most frightening projection throws because if you don't keep your partners hand in the proper place you can really trash their shoulder.
This is what it looks like:
Yokomenuchi Shihonage
29 September 2009
26 September 2009
Meditation
Sharkbutt is helping me type this because my eyeballs are dilated. It is expected to take a while because we fight about the spelling. Sharkbutt being a way more creative speller than I. (note from sharkb - her mooey, that why her no spell fun)
There's all kinds of writing on the subject of meditation, not many of them discuss it in bare bones terms. I will, somedays the good feeling wash over you (sharkb - making you so full of the milk of human kindness that you moo) somedays it's like grinding glass between your teeth. Most days it just is what it is, sitting on your ass observing your thoughts. (shark - if you foodchik it your thought). The point is to sit quietly, quiet your mind and recognize your thoughts are just that thoughts.
(sharkb - try that, donut call it nuffin, sit and fink or donut fink)
There's all kinds of writing on the subject of meditation, not many of them discuss it in bare bones terms. I will, somedays the good feeling wash over you (sharkb - making you so full of the milk of human kindness that you moo) somedays it's like grinding glass between your teeth. Most days it just is what it is, sitting on your ass observing your thoughts. (shark - if you foodchik it your thought). The point is to sit quietly, quiet your mind and recognize your thoughts are just that thoughts.
(sharkb - try that, donut call it nuffin, sit and fink or donut fink)
24 September 2009
24
I am marking 24 years of sobriety, the last time I had a drink was 9-23-85. In those twenty four years I have learned a thing or two about a thing or two and I will share 24 of them in case they might help someone else. These are not original at least not all of them, but to me they've been true.
1 - The universe gives you what you need to learn, which ain't necessarily what you want or deserve.
2 - The universe will repeat these things you need to learn until learn them.
3 - Once you get past fear as a motivator, you can allow yourself to be kind. Instinctively, naturally kind.
4 - Fearful people can be assholes, but mainly they're just scared.
5 - Assholes don't always have enough sense to be afraid.
6 - The need for resolution is an addiction.
7 - The need for understanding, yep, also an addiction.
8 - Somedays one day at a time is too damn far ahead to plan, somedays I managed it 5 minutes at a time.
9 - Farts smell because they're passing through shit on their way out. Hey, I didn't say it was all gonna be worthwhile things to know.
10 - Anger might not be healthy, but it was the only thing that got my ass out of bed for a lot of years.
11 - Sarongs, sports bras and tattoos is a scary, scary look for me.
12 - Turn into the source of the pain. Turning away, you take your eyes off it and start to fear 'it' which is more frightening than facing it and staring it down.
13 - Cat hurl remediation - step 1 - pick it up, step 2 - soak up the remaining liquid with paper towels - step 3 - sprinkle baking soda on the spot - step 4 - scrub with a brush and let sit - step 5 - vacuum it up.
14 - Bracing your abdomen during exertion will protect your low back. This is not sucking in your stomach, brace like you're going to be punched.
15 - Meditate to quiet your mind.
16 - And meditate to quiet the voices in your head. You know, the negative ones. The ones you hear when the fear takes over, or the self loathing takes over.
17 - Self loathing is self absorbed, knock it the fuck off.
18 - Don't pass up an opportunity to have an inside joke with yourself.
19 - Examine and test your instincts well enough to trust them.
20 - Don't give your cats canned people tuna - it's really not good for them.
21 - Keeping your toilet seats up gives your cats the opportunity to fall in the toilet, and put cats toys in your toilet. It also messes up the feng shui in your house.
22 - Being on either end of a headbutt hurts like a bitch.
23 - Heartbreak sucks but if you handle it right, it creates more room in your heart.
24 - If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you ever going to love anyone else?
Some practical (more than not) some useless.
1 - The universe gives you what you need to learn, which ain't necessarily what you want or deserve.
2 - The universe will repeat these things you need to learn until learn them.
3 - Once you get past fear as a motivator, you can allow yourself to be kind. Instinctively, naturally kind.
4 - Fearful people can be assholes, but mainly they're just scared.
5 - Assholes don't always have enough sense to be afraid.
6 - The need for resolution is an addiction.
7 - The need for understanding, yep, also an addiction.
8 - Somedays one day at a time is too damn far ahead to plan, somedays I managed it 5 minutes at a time.
9 - Farts smell because they're passing through shit on their way out. Hey, I didn't say it was all gonna be worthwhile things to know.
10 - Anger might not be healthy, but it was the only thing that got my ass out of bed for a lot of years.
11 - Sarongs, sports bras and tattoos is a scary, scary look for me.
12 - Turn into the source of the pain. Turning away, you take your eyes off it and start to fear 'it' which is more frightening than facing it and staring it down.
13 - Cat hurl remediation - step 1 - pick it up, step 2 - soak up the remaining liquid with paper towels - step 3 - sprinkle baking soda on the spot - step 4 - scrub with a brush and let sit - step 5 - vacuum it up.
14 - Bracing your abdomen during exertion will protect your low back. This is not sucking in your stomach, brace like you're going to be punched.
15 - Meditate to quiet your mind.
16 - And meditate to quiet the voices in your head. You know, the negative ones. The ones you hear when the fear takes over, or the self loathing takes over.
17 - Self loathing is self absorbed, knock it the fuck off.
18 - Don't pass up an opportunity to have an inside joke with yourself.
19 - Examine and test your instincts well enough to trust them.
20 - Don't give your cats canned people tuna - it's really not good for them.
21 - Keeping your toilet seats up gives your cats the opportunity to fall in the toilet, and put cats toys in your toilet. It also messes up the feng shui in your house.
22 - Being on either end of a headbutt hurts like a bitch.
23 - Heartbreak sucks but if you handle it right, it creates more room in your heart.
24 - If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you ever going to love anyone else?
Some practical (more than not) some useless.
15 September 2009
Mammography
Someone (not me) will write a song about it. If you're familiar with the process, I'm telling you nothing you don't already know. If not, gather around children, it's a compelling story, which I tell elegantly. Ok, first of all, you're about 1/4 to 1/2 naked. Second of all, like some thrill ride at the carnival you're asked to step right up, where your naked trembling breast is placed on the platform, and it sticks to the platform so moving it at all requires lifting the entire thing and rearranging it. This is not the treat one might hope for. Let alone arranging it so that the freakin' nipple that's curling into itself in fear and trepidation can be spread out for the squeezing. Yeah, if your nipples hide, you do it again. And again and a goddamn gain, but I'm not bitter.
Whether we've met or not, you likely do not know this about me since I wear a bulletproof sportsbra except whilst in the shower but I do sport a bit of a rack. And as I am at an age where I need annual mammograms and no, they're not as perky as they used to be but thanks for your interest. Alas, how easily I digress. My point being that perky d-cups turn into pancakes in the chamber of horror, I mean mammography. And just as lefty has been freed with a looks good, you realize - we're going back in tooooooooooooooo squish the armpit. So the technician and I have now established a rapport, which is good because my boobs don't get handled this much on a first date. And I ask so, how bad is this going to screw up my already screwed up rotator cuff. It would seem not too bad. But again, I digress. As this proceeds, I get more and more outrageous. She's got me draped around, across and upside this machine, tells me to hold my breath and relax. I laugh wholeheartedly and say, um you gotta pick one. I can hold my breath or relax not both. Since my dignity is long since gone, as she proceeds to arrange righty for the squish, I say you've handled my breasts so much I feel I should at least buy you a drink. In case you ever were curious, it is entirely possible for an African-American woman to turn bright red.
There are many many things I like about the joint where I go to get my mammogram. They have robes in my size - V for vast. And they're robes, not damn gowns that my ass hangs out all out of and around. The feng shui in the place is calming and soothing. And most importantly, you know your results before you walk out of the door.
Happily, the girls are fine, the scarred up lymph nodes are still scarred up. (Did I mention I used to fight - a lot?) But everything is as it should be.
This isn't meant to scare anyone. Just do it, if not for you, for your kids, your friends, your family or the girls. You want to enjoy them, don't you?
Whether we've met or not, you likely do not know this about me since I wear a bulletproof sportsbra except whilst in the shower but I do sport a bit of a rack. And as I am at an age where I need annual mammograms and no, they're not as perky as they used to be but thanks for your interest. Alas, how easily I digress. My point being that perky d-cups turn into pancakes in the chamber of horror, I mean mammography. And just as lefty has been freed with a looks good, you realize - we're going back in tooooooooooooooo squish the armpit. So the technician and I have now established a rapport, which is good because my boobs don't get handled this much on a first date. And I ask so, how bad is this going to screw up my already screwed up rotator cuff. It would seem not too bad. But again, I digress. As this proceeds, I get more and more outrageous. She's got me draped around, across and upside this machine, tells me to hold my breath and relax. I laugh wholeheartedly and say, um you gotta pick one. I can hold my breath or relax not both. Since my dignity is long since gone, as she proceeds to arrange righty for the squish, I say you've handled my breasts so much I feel I should at least buy you a drink. In case you ever were curious, it is entirely possible for an African-American woman to turn bright red.
There are many many things I like about the joint where I go to get my mammogram. They have robes in my size - V for vast. And they're robes, not damn gowns that my ass hangs out all out of and around. The feng shui in the place is calming and soothing. And most importantly, you know your results before you walk out of the door.
Happily, the girls are fine, the scarred up lymph nodes are still scarred up. (Did I mention I used to fight - a lot?) But everything is as it should be.
This isn't meant to scare anyone. Just do it, if not for you, for your kids, your friends, your family or the girls. You want to enjoy them, don't you?
11 September 2009
4 Noble Truths
Buddhist folks believe 4 things that are referred to as the four noble truths. I'll paraphrase because I'm not up for fancy language today.
1) In life there is suffering. (the Buddha doesn't say this but I will - duh)
2)The reason we suffer is because we are attached to things (places, people, pleasures, ego - crap like that).
3) We can make the suffering stop by relinquishing our attachments to things ( places, people, pleasures, ego - you get the idea)
4)The 8 fold path will lead you to the end of suffering. Which I will discuss at another time.
My prevailing reality this evening is that I took a fairly highflying aikido class this evening. I have planted my ass and the rest of me on a collection of 7 ice packs. I am gravity's bitch, and momentum is my friend. Also, fat (mine) does fly.
So I am at least for tonight a very simple soul - explained here above.
Sharkbutt would simply say that I'm a cow and I moo. I say maybe I'm imitating a lighthouse because I'm not moving quick enough to be a cow.
1) In life there is suffering. (the Buddha doesn't say this but I will - duh)
2)The reason we suffer is because we are attached to things (places, people, pleasures, ego - crap like that).
3) We can make the suffering stop by relinquishing our attachments to things ( places, people, pleasures, ego - you get the idea)
4)The 8 fold path will lead you to the end of suffering. Which I will discuss at another time.
My prevailing reality this evening is that I took a fairly highflying aikido class this evening. I have planted my ass and the rest of me on a collection of 7 ice packs. I am gravity's bitch, and momentum is my friend. Also, fat (mine) does fly.
So I am at least for tonight a very simple soul - explained here above.
Sharkbutt would simply say that I'm a cow and I moo. I say maybe I'm imitating a lighthouse because I'm not moving quick enough to be a cow.
9-11-09
I can and will collect my thoughts and add to the commentary. But what you really need to understand is this, from where I live, we could smell the fire, the army base I live adjacent to was frantically preparing for survivors that never came. Some of my friends died there, some kids I taught aikido to lost parents there. This hit us here in this part of the world hard. And we must not ever forget.
10 September 2009
Sharkbutt will explain over on his blog
But my attention isn't always where it should be, especially before I've had coffee. And the cats have vitamins, and I have vitamins and never the twain should ever meet. Well, it did again this morning. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Their vitamins taste like liver, I was expecting citrus. As Caroline Myss is inclined to say - wanna make God laugh? tell him your plans.
09 September 2009
9/9/09
Got nothing of consequence to say, yeah, yeah, when do I ever? Shut up. Thought the symmetry of the date today was nice. The weather is very fall like and I go for torture in a little while. Ok, technically it's a chiropractic treatment and not the rack but theres a lot of similarities.
03 September 2009
Ahhh Lifestyle
I was in Barnes and Noble looking for a copy of Better Slums and Hovels for a recipe. Oh shut up. I went looking for this in the lifestyle section, thinking that I'd find BS and H in there with Martha and Oprah. But no, I found these magazines pictured below and both the cowboy and weed mags did feature recipes. Who knew?
Breathing
In aikido as in other aspects of life, breathing is important. You want to be exhaling as you hit the floor to absorb some of the impact and inhale to push yourself back to standing. You would also want to exhale on the throw to gather the breath power/ki and put it into the throw.
In making my way through changes in my life both in the recent past and long time past, I've paid a lot of attention to my breath. Sometimes all I seemed to have the emotional strength to do was breathe. And sometimes that's all I did need to have the emotional strength to do. Breathe and be, be awareness being aware. Sounds all esoteric and bullshitty doesn't it? It's not. It's how I got sober, it's how I stayed sober, it's how I got strong, and it's how I've stayed strong.
Breathe, and be. Then do it again. And because my meditation technique is largely informed by Tibetan Buddhism it's ok while you're doing this to breathe and be and pet the cat, or scratch whatever you need to scratch.
In making my way through changes in my life both in the recent past and long time past, I've paid a lot of attention to my breath. Sometimes all I seemed to have the emotional strength to do was breathe. And sometimes that's all I did need to have the emotional strength to do. Breathe and be, be awareness being aware. Sounds all esoteric and bullshitty doesn't it? It's not. It's how I got sober, it's how I stayed sober, it's how I got strong, and it's how I've stayed strong.
Breathe, and be. Then do it again. And because my meditation technique is largely informed by Tibetan Buddhism it's ok while you're doing this to breathe and be and pet the cat, or scratch whatever you need to scratch.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)