Necessity, Not the Only Mother of Invention

As previously chronicled in this blog, I have three cats. Although, periodically they get up to loud, thundering mischief that makes it seem as if there are more than three of them. Because of previous, expensive antics of these characters around my toilets I'm quite fanatical about the lids being shut after each use. I have noticed recently that there's always at least one shadowing me during any venture to the land of excretion. This morning both boys cornered me for pets in the powder room. And now I know why, this morning after I deposited some coffee, levered my not inconsiderable backside off the pot and hear a small splash as I flushed. Of course, it's a game of volleymouse! With the well oiled grace of a jungle cat, I spun on my heel to see a toy mouse disappearing down the drain. Thinking quickly I thrust my hand into the cool recesses of the bowl to snag the mouse. But too late and now it's too stuck. Fortunately, I have an industrial strength plunger so I do manage to send the mouse toy further on its way to oblivion.

I understand that the cats might be bored, this is why I'm thinking boredom needs to receive more credit as the mother of invention.

Damn cats.

Warming My Heart

My friend S introduced me to the cinematic wonder of A Christmas Story this year and I just love it! One of my buds is also a fan and paraphrased the following quote recently to describe my verbal agility.

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

Warms me heart!

Yee Freakin' Ha!

Spoke to the vet from the cat er today, the Stripey beast's urine culture is back and he doesn't have a bacterial infection. So no Clavamox for us and my nose is once again safe from the invasion of the cat meds.

A New Fresh Hell

When one emerges from the elevators at work, there are entry doors to the left and the right - 2 sets, no waiting. I arrived yesterday at 0715 as I generally do, and there were six people gathered at the doors on the north side of the building, 2 of whom were rather insistently doing a pee pee dance. I said "is that door broken again?" and proceeded to the south side followed by the 6 lemmings who hadn't figured out to walk 15 feet to get into work.

If there's not a sitcom in development entitled DIPSHITS 'R' US, perhaps there should be.

Christmas 2006, the good, the bad and the ugly

The good, well much of it was good, thanks for asking. This is not always the case with me. For some reason or other the hollerday season has historically placed me in the princess of darkness mode and that ain't ever pretty. Specifically what was good, aiding and abetting my friend S in playing Santa Claus for her son. Mainly, I lent moral support, some manual dexterity and an occasional smart remark. Also, delightful returning home from that mission to find a surprise in my mailbox from my friends S&M.

Also, Christmas day was nice, breakfast at the parental units and dinner at the sisters. But this led to the ugly, the sister, a/k/a Zippy was slicing potatoes on a mandoline and sliced her finger, kinda bad. Well, the Zipster, being a bachelor girl seemed to be lacking a first aid kit or bandaids so we had to go with panty shields and scotch tape. Not so effective when one is trying to staunch bleeding. where it got really fun was when the mothership (who by the way has earned the right to use the initials RN, BSN after her name) asks me to discern if the child needs stitches. Incredulous me says to my self "how the fuck do I know?" I saw no tendons, no finger guts so my executive decision was no, doesn't need stitches.

So the bad, went back to work today, to find out my former co-worker and friend M passed away yesterday. She'd had CA, and was the second co-worker in 2 weeks that had died of cancer. And about 5 other co-workers had been diagnosed within the past month. Shit.

Fa La La La Effin' La

For whatever blissful reason, this time of year tends to set my teeth on edge. Is it the crowds? Is it the nuts? Is it that I'm spending money? Or is it that there's not enough daylight?

I'm thinking it's the daylight thing.

Siiiiiiigh!

Here's a story for you, I go home last night - and 50 miles of road, and an iced tea, you know the first place I'm headed after I hit the door. Stripe comes into visit and hops into my pants which is not unusual for our little circle of fun and dysfunction. But I'm starting to smell cat pee, he peed in my pants, the stripey sone of a bitch. So I wrassle him into a crate, with my half nekkid peed upon self, hose off put on some clean pants and drag his ass to the cat ER. $300 later, we probably have a bladder infection but we're running 150 bucks worth of tests on his urine and send me home with antibiotics - liquid bubblegum flavored clavamox. How the hell did he know I had money?

Cut to this morning's dosing and we're int the recliner and I've got his head trapped between my jaw and my shoulder and succeed in shooting the clavamox up my nose instead of into his mouth. Goddamned cat.

Happy Effing Christmas

One would think that with the celebration of the birth of the Christian savior that the vast hordes on the prowl for gifts might put a little of the milk of human kindness into their driving abilities. But no, not so much. I try to be mindful of the aggression with which I drive in general, but now it's all about the defensive driving. Especially in those very special hells known as mall parking lots.

Fresh Hell

So I went to new doc city yesterday to get the results of my blood work and my cholesterol remains remarkable for a fat woman (yes, a doctor has said those words to me, no, I'm no longer a patient.) but my good cholesterol is low. Rather than put my on the liver busting statins, I'm on time release niacin. Niacin causes flushing, an inside out itching combined with the kinds of hot flashes all the denizens of hell enjoy. It's a treat.

Advice From A Shark

Because I readily admit that much of the time I do not display the good sense God gave a grape, I can be slow to dispense advice, or quick to dispense it but not without caveats.

However, Sharkbutt being young, four legged and a know it all will give all the advice you can handle at

Advice from A Shark

Damn It!

While I do try as I might to keep my kitchen counters organized, it does help if I periodically test out my visual accuity and look at what I'm about to ingest. Thought I had grabbed for the chewable Vitamin C, innocuous fruity flavored delight. But no, I grabbed the f&^*ing liver flavored cat supplements. The worse part being that this is not the first time that I've snacked upon the hell that is chewable cat vitamins.

Toys

Ok, you with the mind in the gutter... out! I got a new massage tool, it's called a massage star, and hey, this is a PG rated blog so .... out! I can use it for muscle stripping, cross fiber frictioning and all of the nifty techniques that blow the thumb and finger joints out. It's a beautiful thing, and I can use it on me, to strip the world class knots out of my forearms and ass.

Interesting Week

So I either fired or was fired by one of my reiki students this week. I don't suppose that I'm surprised, being a reiki master candidate using the curriculum that the Center of Living Light uses is a huge commitment. And it's a red hot bitch. It's also the hardest commitment to keep because you essentially make the commitment to yourself for yourself. So it's easy to excuse for yourself, not making enough time, not making enough effort, succumbing to a shortcut and not doing the work. But that doesn't necessarily get you where you want to be. Bottom line, I cannot do the work for anyone other than me, and I do it every day. So good luck to her.

State of Mind

...our state of mind is crucial in determining whether or not we gain joy and happiness. So leaving aside the perspective of Dharma practice, even in worldly terms, in terms of our enjoying a happy day-to-day existence, the greater the level of calmness of our mind, the greater our peace of mind, and the greater our ability to enjoy a happy and joyful life. Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I'm finding my equanimity challenged of late, not unusually for me I'm somewhat less than enamored by the 'holiday' season. Not loving the shorter days much either. I know I need to fire up the bright lights, make more of an effort to get outside when it's still light out and so forth. And most importantly be mindful and choose to be calm in my mind - my occasional diatribes into the stupidity I encounter at work are the exceptions, of course.

It can be kind of challenging to resist the darkness, especially because for so long I embraced darkness, not noticing that I had other choices.