25 January 2007


I must pack up my black suit, black shoes and traipse to a funeral later. My father's brother died (didn't we do this already? yes, but that was the oldest one.) He was my godfather and that makes for an interesting relationship. Not good, not bad just interesting. Can't say I ever went to him for spiritual guidance but when I saw him in August we bonded over our great affection for Sedona.

I'm resistant to attend this one, but I will because I can't quite imagine what it's like to lose all your siblings within a 3 month stretch. I know that would send me way near the edge, hell, it would send me way near the edge to lose one of them.

This will be, not surprisingly for this crowd, a funeral mass - Catholic. And there's to be an commitment ceremony (for his cremains, we're not mixing rituals here) but I'm going to miss that and just be there for the mass a/k/a church. If it takes place in a church - I just call it church or if it's annoying to me church fucking church. There was a time when I thought I wanted to be a nun. Brief time, because well there's the whole sex thing, and the whole Catholic thing. Overtime the Catholic thing lapsed to the point where I took vows as a Buddhist. Vows that include one about engaging in responsible sexual behavior. But hey, that works for me. Swearing it off entirely would not.

So I start off talking about a dirt nap and end with sex. Kind of the reverse of how it works for us getting here, huh?

When someone passes, Buddhists will pray and offer sacrifices (water, incense, flowers, fruit) for an easy Bardo, transition into the next phase, whatever phase that might be. And so I have offered the prayers and so forth and hopefully the Bardo will be easy for him. But I know the transition into life without B will be in many ways harder for those he left behind so I offer prayers and good energy for them too.

Happy trails, B.

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