I am premenstrual severely, premenstrual. I was buzzing around Wegman's with the fabulous Ms. S, the cutest girl on two feet and this is usually a pleasant, even delightful experience for me. Do not get me wrong the aspect of basking in the company of Ms. S is withhout fail a delight. But my body chemistry has murderous intent and one simple twat adjacent to the avocados had days that were way past numbered.
A confession: I've been banned from a couple of supermarkets in my day, when I had the panties of evil (as I often refer to PMS) under far less control than I do today. And both of my bannings resulted in my behavior after I'd been hit with a shopping cart, in both cases, I was hit more than once and objected rather strenuously, loudly and as I am large, largely. This did not prevent me from being hit. In the one instance I simply turned around reached for the offending cart behind me in the checkout line and upended it. I was escorted from the store. the other time I was hit twice, but followed the offender to the parking lot and upended the cart on the hood of her car. 'Twas then, I said to myself "self, we may required professional help"...
Which we sought, from the shrink knowns as "that fucking woman in H-D". It's time to go work on my anger management exercises or tomorrow will not be an optimal work experience for anyone.
29 June 2008
And Now for Something Completely Different - Cynthia Heimel
The brilliance of Cynthia Heimel is in its complete glorious glory here:
12:26 | PMS and Outfits · Cynthia Heimel
Hello, I’m premenstrual. So I’ve chained myself to the radiator.
Why? Must you ask?
I’ve chained myself to the radiator because if I give myself an inch, I’ll go shopping. And if I go shopping I will buy something. And that thing I buy, that thing I find myself madly and irrevocably in love with, the thing that I think I’ve secretly wanted all my life and only finally had the courage to buy will probably be a brightly voluminous turquoise jumpsuit with epaulets. I’m not crazy about jumpsuits. I’ve shunned turquoise since I was seven. I hate epaulets.
But today I don’t. Today I think of epaulets as the bee’s knees. Today I think I might have been hasty in condemning jumpsuits and turquoise. Today I want to be wild and free as the wind. I have PMS. I am insane. Really bonkers. If you live in England and happen to have PMS when you commit a murder, you can be acquitted. England is a very enlightened country.
You wouldn’t believe the boots I got once. Putrid green. There was fringe involved, and I believe some silver studs. Maybe not, I can’t bear to open the box and look at them.
The buying of unfortunately colored boots is the biggest symptom of PMS. I was having a business lunch with a perfectly awful girl once, the kind of girl who steals boyfriends. She was wearing neon-blue, leather cowboy boots. Snakeskin and suede inserts. Scalloped tops. Tassels. Beige stacked heels. Excruciating. You could kill yourself just looking at them.
“What do you think of my boots?” she asked.
“When did you buy them?” I asked.
“Last week sometime,” she said.
“When was your last period?” I asked.
“It just started today,” she said. “Why?”
“No reason,” I said. “The boots are extremely pleasant.”
“You don’t think they’re a little busy or something? I’m having doubts.”
“On the contrary, I think your boots are very stylish and delightful,” I said, remembering how she tried to steal Rita’s boyfriend at a party once.
Once in the throes of PMS I had to go to a crucial meeting that would determine my entire future. I had to look great.
I surveyed the contents of my closet and burst into tears.
“I have nothing to wear!” I wailed. “Everying I own is too boring, boring, boring!”
Then I ransacked my drawers until I came upon this utterly charming, tomato-red sweater shoved behind some old bathing suits.
“Why, you cute thing,” I said to the sweater. “I wonder why I buried you.” Then, looking behind some boxes in a closet, I happened upon a magenta skirt.
“What a chic idea,” I decided.
I went through my tights and in a trice found a lovely burgundy-hued pair. A cerise jacket and scarlet shoes completed my ensemble.
“I am a symphony of reds,” I sang to myself as I left the house.
Luckily a security guard stopped me on my way to the meeting.
“You’re kidding about the outfit, right?” he asked.
“Out of my way, little man,” I commanded. “You just don’t understand innovations of style.”
“I understand that you look just like my wife does right before she gets her period,” he said. “‘Joe,’ my wife says, ‘you ever catch me trying to leave the house like this, lock me in a closet.’”
“You think a bright green dress instead?” I asked him.
”Do yourself a favor, go home and put on a navy suit,” he said.
So I did and so here are the PMS rules. Neglect them at your own peril:
Mark of on your calendar the day you will become insane. When that day arrives, you are officially on PMS-Watch. Call a nonpremenstrual friend to make decisions for you, even what to have for breakfast, because if she doesn’t, you’ll have Ring Dings and Valium.
When you’re not premenstrual, assemble a tasteful outfit for meetings-that-could-change-your-life. Make sure this ensemble hangs in the designated PMS area of your closet. Make sure you wear it.
One week before your period, give all your credit cards to a close friend. Tell her to lock them up until your third day of menstruation. By then the desire for hideous boots has flown.
Keep away from guns, knives, and epaulets.
12:26 | PMS and Outfits · Cynthia Heimel
Hello, I’m premenstrual. So I’ve chained myself to the radiator.
Why? Must you ask?
I’ve chained myself to the radiator because if I give myself an inch, I’ll go shopping. And if I go shopping I will buy something. And that thing I buy, that thing I find myself madly and irrevocably in love with, the thing that I think I’ve secretly wanted all my life and only finally had the courage to buy will probably be a brightly voluminous turquoise jumpsuit with epaulets. I’m not crazy about jumpsuits. I’ve shunned turquoise since I was seven. I hate epaulets.
But today I don’t. Today I think of epaulets as the bee’s knees. Today I think I might have been hasty in condemning jumpsuits and turquoise. Today I want to be wild and free as the wind. I have PMS. I am insane. Really bonkers. If you live in England and happen to have PMS when you commit a murder, you can be acquitted. England is a very enlightened country.
You wouldn’t believe the boots I got once. Putrid green. There was fringe involved, and I believe some silver studs. Maybe not, I can’t bear to open the box and look at them.
The buying of unfortunately colored boots is the biggest symptom of PMS. I was having a business lunch with a perfectly awful girl once, the kind of girl who steals boyfriends. She was wearing neon-blue, leather cowboy boots. Snakeskin and suede inserts. Scalloped tops. Tassels. Beige stacked heels. Excruciating. You could kill yourself just looking at them.
“What do you think of my boots?” she asked.
“When did you buy them?” I asked.
“Last week sometime,” she said.
“When was your last period?” I asked.
“It just started today,” she said. “Why?”
“No reason,” I said. “The boots are extremely pleasant.”
“You don’t think they’re a little busy or something? I’m having doubts.”
“On the contrary, I think your boots are very stylish and delightful,” I said, remembering how she tried to steal Rita’s boyfriend at a party once.
Once in the throes of PMS I had to go to a crucial meeting that would determine my entire future. I had to look great.
I surveyed the contents of my closet and burst into tears.
“I have nothing to wear!” I wailed. “Everying I own is too boring, boring, boring!”
Then I ransacked my drawers until I came upon this utterly charming, tomato-red sweater shoved behind some old bathing suits.
“Why, you cute thing,” I said to the sweater. “I wonder why I buried you.” Then, looking behind some boxes in a closet, I happened upon a magenta skirt.
“What a chic idea,” I decided.
I went through my tights and in a trice found a lovely burgundy-hued pair. A cerise jacket and scarlet shoes completed my ensemble.
“I am a symphony of reds,” I sang to myself as I left the house.
Luckily a security guard stopped me on my way to the meeting.
“You’re kidding about the outfit, right?” he asked.
“Out of my way, little man,” I commanded. “You just don’t understand innovations of style.”
“I understand that you look just like my wife does right before she gets her period,” he said. “‘Joe,’ my wife says, ‘you ever catch me trying to leave the house like this, lock me in a closet.’”
“You think a bright green dress instead?” I asked him.
”Do yourself a favor, go home and put on a navy suit,” he said.
So I did and so here are the PMS rules. Neglect them at your own peril:
Mark of on your calendar the day you will become insane. When that day arrives, you are officially on PMS-Watch. Call a nonpremenstrual friend to make decisions for you, even what to have for breakfast, because if she doesn’t, you’ll have Ring Dings and Valium.
When you’re not premenstrual, assemble a tasteful outfit for meetings-that-could-change-your-life. Make sure this ensemble hangs in the designated PMS area of your closet. Make sure you wear it.
One week before your period, give all your credit cards to a close friend. Tell her to lock them up until your third day of menstruation. By then the desire for hideous boots has flown.
Keep away from guns, knives, and epaulets.
28 June 2008
21 June 2008
Vermin In The Workplace Day 2
We had another mouse appearance at work yesterday and as Evil Queen I was summoned! Am still mystified as to what was expected of me. My sprinting and catching wild animals days have pretty much passed me by. So this mouse was a bold fellow, just stood there calmly eyeballing me as I eyeballed him and I quickly slid a box lid under him and marched us over to the elevators. He, I and my friend G who was descending to the fresh hell of the 3rd floor rode down and I proceeded to take him to the first floor, intending to release him into the wilds of Trenton. As I departed the elevator, I was met by C of the maintenance staff who escorted the young mouse to the back yard. I am now known as both Evil Queen and mouse whisperer. This photo is more than somewhat blurry but is the mouse in question in the boxlid mentioned.
19 June 2008
Vermin in the Workplace
No I'm not referring to coworkers. One of my folks spotted a mouse making a break for it across her foot. She provided earsplitting shrieks as did the mouse, but I wasn't telling her that was the mouse shrieking. And at heart I am the Evil Queen so I'm bring some of my catlets toy mice to work to see what kind of hell I can raise.
17 June 2008
OH FRESH HELL!
I returned to work from a week off for good behavior and it just gets deeper in fucked up moronic nonsense. One of the minions makes it more and more obvious on a daily basis that she requires both hands, a road map and GPS to find her ass. Years ago I promised myself that I no longer literally or figuratively beat my head against the wall. Today, I came very close to breaking that promise to myself.
14 June 2008
Hmmm
So I'm off to a wedding later today, I'm not much for weddings and not simply because my kind are discouraged from having them and so forth. It's mainly because the sentiment expressed is not based in the reality of history. Love, forever, blah, blah, blah. Back in the day, it was a way to maintain a woman as property. People seem to forget that. And then you have the religical nuts who maintain that God has a hand in all this, ummm, hi, in that case it's just sanctified fucking and let's us knock off with this pretense of trying to holy it up, shall we? Then there is this whole business of people putting more time, energy and attention in to the wedding than they do into the marriage. Why? Is it because it's a couple of multi-billion dollar a year businesses, weddings and divorces? And marriage is work, sometimes brutally hard work? It is hard to know.
08 June 2008
Meme A Roo
I stole this one from Shazza at Random :
Technology
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Sharkbutt's baby picture
Q: How many televisions do you have in your house?
2
BIOLOGY
Q: Are you right handed or left handed?
Mainly right handed.
Q:Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
glass, teeth.
Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My freezer
Q: Have you ever been knocked out?
Oddly, no I don't think so, even thought I fought for 20 odd years. So down yes, out no.
Bullshitology
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Hepzibah, no, not really
Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
Light blue, steel grey, cool colors.
Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Are bugs considered non-food items? And I suppose teeth are non food items, and back when I enjoyed tequila the wormage.
Dareology
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for 100 dollars?
Duh...I'd do it for free!
Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for 200,000$?
Oh hell no!
Q: Would you never blog again for 50,000$?
There will come a point when I tire of reading my nonsense and will not blog again for nothing. So sure.
Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for 1,000$?
Um, no, not ever.
Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for a million dollars?
there was a time when I thought my life would be incomplete without taking a couple of particular human lives for free, fortuitously that time has passed so unless it was a bizarre juncture of events where the taking of the life would alleviate that persons suffering, I'd have to decline.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Wallet, keys
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
I would not know
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Carpet
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
What is the point of showering if one is going to sit.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I don't think I own any, my feet are too effed up for flip flops.
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
My sister M.
Q: Last person who called you?
Stacy
Q: Last person you hugged?
My consigliere
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
23, 11, I like 'em odd.
Q: Season?
Fall
Q: Color?
Indigo
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Stacy
Q: Mood?
Tired, Hungry, Blasphemous.
Q: Listening to?
Ceiling fan
Q: Worrying about?
Will these effing cats learn how to use the toilet.
Q: Wearing?
shorts, shirt, shades, dainties.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
the truck
Q: What can you not wait to do?
if I don't have to wait I don't, If I have to wait, I wait. there's no can't.
Q: Do you smile often?
oh fuck no.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
Um, no, not even remotely, I'm a NJ native, who outposted for 4 years in Scranton so my friendliest mood is surly, my unfriendliest rabid. there's not much middle ground here.
Technology
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Sharkbutt's baby picture
Q: How many televisions do you have in your house?
2
BIOLOGY
Q: Are you right handed or left handed?
Mainly right handed.
Q:Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
glass, teeth.
Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My freezer
Q: Have you ever been knocked out?
Oddly, no I don't think so, even thought I fought for 20 odd years. So down yes, out no.
Bullshitology
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No
Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Hepzibah, no, not really
Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
Light blue, steel grey, cool colors.
Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Are bugs considered non-food items? And I suppose teeth are non food items, and back when I enjoyed tequila the wormage.
Dareology
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for 100 dollars?
Duh...I'd do it for free!
Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for 200,000$?
Oh hell no!
Q: Would you never blog again for 50,000$?
There will come a point when I tire of reading my nonsense and will not blog again for nothing. So sure.
Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for 1,000$?
Um, no, not ever.
Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for a million dollars?
there was a time when I thought my life would be incomplete without taking a couple of particular human lives for free, fortuitously that time has passed so unless it was a bizarre juncture of events where the taking of the life would alleviate that persons suffering, I'd have to decline.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Wallet, keys
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
I would not know
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Carpet
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
What is the point of showering if one is going to sit.
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I don't think I own any, my feet are too effed up for flip flops.
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
My sister M.
Q: Last person who called you?
Stacy
Q: Last person you hugged?
My consigliere
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
23, 11, I like 'em odd.
Q: Season?
Fall
Q: Color?
Indigo
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Stacy
Q: Mood?
Tired, Hungry, Blasphemous.
Q: Listening to?
Ceiling fan
Q: Worrying about?
Will these effing cats learn how to use the toilet.
Q: Wearing?
shorts, shirt, shades, dainties.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
the truck
Q: What can you not wait to do?
if I don't have to wait I don't, If I have to wait, I wait. there's no can't.
Q: Do you smile often?
oh fuck no.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
Um, no, not even remotely, I'm a NJ native, who outposted for 4 years in Scranton so my friendliest mood is surly, my unfriendliest rabid. there's not much middle ground here.
01 June 2008
More With the Doom!
Condi Rice meets Kiss
Yes, that KISS - 70's glam band extraordinaire. Perhaps it's time to start bending over and practice kissing our asses goodbye.
Yes, that KISS - 70's glam band extraordinaire. Perhaps it's time to start bending over and practice kissing our asses goodbye.
31 May 2008
Yet Another Sign of Impending Doom
I received a link to the following below in an email from this vendor this morning. Yes, it's true I do wear underwear. More often than not they're black, beyond that there will be no further discussion of my dainties, which as is much of my wardrobe, purchased for functionality and, truth be told practicality. If I could find machine washable, bulletproof dainties to match my machine washable, bulletproof sports bras I'd be in hog heaven.
Imagine my surprise to find that JMS (a division of Sara Lee, who also bring you Champion and Hanes brand sportswear and used to bring you Coach handbags but now I digress) is marketing an EXTREME MAKEUNDER. Doom, I say doom!
To me this is just asking for people to make puppets out of them and sell them on ETSY!
Imagine my surprise to find that JMS (a division of Sara Lee, who also bring you Champion and Hanes brand sportswear and used to bring you Coach handbags but now I digress) is marketing an EXTREME MAKEUNDER. Doom, I say doom!
To me this is just asking for people to make puppets out of them and sell them on ETSY!
30 May 2008
DUDES!!
So would you believe Stripey my high maintenance cat has already successfully used the toilet apparatus? He did. I'm so proud, bursting with triumphant pride. And yes, it speaks ill of the quality of my life.
28 May 2008
Because Aspirations for the End of Suffering of all Sentient Beings Does Not Keep Me Nearly Busy Enough
I've decided that it's time for the cats to be toilet trained. I'd seen this proposed for years and must confess to being exceedingly curious about the video many of the kits include. Who is the video for, the cats or the foodchik/dude? Since I did not buy an apparatus that involved video I still cannot answer that question. Photos and updates as events warrant or as my whim of iron moves me.
22 May 2008
Fascia
Siiigh, I inadvertently strained the transversus abdominis in the lower medial left. Which basically means I jacked up my low belly adjacent to my groin and above my whup where such things attach, ok technically the musculature inserts to the symphasis pubis. Damn it to hell! and when I move my neck just right I feel that in my vajayjay and in a veritable sheath of connective tissue in between my neck and my whup. And my mission is to both rest and ice this region of my girlish self. Now I'm a big big fan of the therapeutic value of ice, the efficiency with which it reduces inflammation and that really nifty part after the throbbing bone chilling ache where things go numb. Not so much with either the bone chilling ache or it's predecessor freezing process on my belly. Whilst things are still inflamed (read painful) I cannot try any of my umpteen tricks for helping increase the circulation to the the regions in question.
Not sure quite how I did it, but since it's me, I'm pretty sure it was doing one damn dumb thing or another.
Not sure quite how I did it, but since it's me, I'm pretty sure it was doing one damn dumb thing or another.
19 May 2008
What part of May 19th at 10:00am do you not understand?
My main occupation these days is a payroll queen. We pay once a month and today we closed at 10:00am. At 10:05, someone whirled insisting that his system problem was my problem and demanding I fix it. A) not my system, not my problem B) you're late you need to kiss my ass in Macy's window motherfucker so get gone. So in not so many words I told him to fuck off and I called his boss and told her that if he pulled this shit again he was going out the window and we're on the 7th floor.
Until I was 40 my greatest regret in life was that I'd not killed anyone and then I mellowed out, but today that good old rage was back. I was ready to choke the eyeballs out of this fucker.
Until I was 40 my greatest regret in life was that I'd not killed anyone and then I mellowed out, but today that good old rage was back. I was ready to choke the eyeballs out of this fucker.
17 May 2008
Blah, Blah, Freakin' Blah a meme deal
What is your occupation? Bliss Kitten, oh wait the one, I get paid for, full-time professional Evil Minion - Accounting and Finance
What color are your socks right now? One's black, one's white. Shut up. It was not a pretty morning
What are you listening to right now? The weeds being whacked
What was the last thing that you ate? Protein shake, oh wait drank that. Pre-bed dose of pure green, oh wait drank that too. Chicken.
Can you drive a stick shift? It's been a while but sure.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Usually Indigo, today Magenta, mainly because E Dillon referred to me as the bluebird of happiness, luckily I did not refer to her as the greenbird of mental illness.
Last person you spoke to on the phone? I think Elaine
How old are you today? 25 years younger than my mother, 31 years older than my oldest niece
Favorite drink? Iced red chai, water
What is your favorite sport to watch? rodeo
Have you ever dyed your hair? Um it's about 90% snow fucking white so yes
Favorite food? Mexican
Last movie you watched? Smart People - excellent flick
Favorite Day of the year? Any day I get to the beach, any day in AZ, September 24
What do you do to vent anger? Glare, Curse, rant, beat the snot out of the 80lb punching bag in the cats room
What was your favorite toy as a child? I was never what you'd call a child. brass knuckles
What is your favorite season? All but fall spring are enjoying most favored nation status.
Hugs or kisses? both goddamn it.
Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
When was the last time you cried? I do not cry, I snot. Not recently What is on the floor of your closet? shoes and sharkbutt, he lurks there. I keep telling him we're gay friendly here and he can come out of the closet.
Who is the friend you have had the longest? Who is the friend you have known the shortest? I don't effing know, this friendship stuff is not my first time around an incarnation with any of you.
Favorite smells? SM, cinnamon
Who inspires you? In no particular order, my mom, SM, LC, my friends, dalai lama, IJJ, Sugano Sensei
What are you afraid of? losing a loved one, losing my mind (which is, I suppose losing a loved one)
Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? spicy
Favorite car I like? Black Mazda 3 Speed hatchback
Favorite cat breed? muttleys
Number of keys on your key ring? 3 rings, 2 keys, a leatherman on one, 12 keys on the other, 3 keys on the other
How many years at your current job? 24 on September 17 but really who's counting
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
How many states have you lived in? 2 - NJ and PA
Do you think you're funny? yes, when I'm not fearing for my remaining 3 sane brain cells, yes.
What color are your socks right now? One's black, one's white. Shut up. It was not a pretty morning
What are you listening to right now? The weeds being whacked
What was the last thing that you ate? Protein shake, oh wait drank that. Pre-bed dose of pure green, oh wait drank that too. Chicken.
Can you drive a stick shift? It's been a while but sure.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Usually Indigo, today Magenta, mainly because E Dillon referred to me as the bluebird of happiness, luckily I did not refer to her as the greenbird of mental illness.
Last person you spoke to on the phone? I think Elaine
How old are you today? 25 years younger than my mother, 31 years older than my oldest niece
Favorite drink? Iced red chai, water
What is your favorite sport to watch? rodeo
Have you ever dyed your hair? Um it's about 90% snow fucking white so yes
Favorite food? Mexican
Last movie you watched? Smart People - excellent flick
Favorite Day of the year? Any day I get to the beach, any day in AZ, September 24
What do you do to vent anger? Glare, Curse, rant, beat the snot out of the 80lb punching bag in the cats room
What was your favorite toy as a child? I was never what you'd call a child. brass knuckles
What is your favorite season? All but fall spring are enjoying most favored nation status.
Hugs or kisses? both goddamn it.
Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
When was the last time you cried? I do not cry, I snot. Not recently What is on the floor of your closet? shoes and sharkbutt, he lurks there. I keep telling him we're gay friendly here and he can come out of the closet.
Who is the friend you have had the longest? Who is the friend you have known the shortest? I don't effing know, this friendship stuff is not my first time around an incarnation with any of you.
Favorite smells? SM, cinnamon
Who inspires you? In no particular order, my mom, SM, LC, my friends, dalai lama, IJJ, Sugano Sensei
What are you afraid of? losing a loved one, losing my mind (which is, I suppose losing a loved one)
Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? spicy
Favorite car I like? Black Mazda 3 Speed hatchback
Favorite cat breed? muttleys
Number of keys on your key ring? 3 rings, 2 keys, a leatherman on one, 12 keys on the other, 3 keys on the other
How many years at your current job? 24 on September 17 but really who's counting
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
How many states have you lived in? 2 - NJ and PA
Do you think you're funny? yes, when I'm not fearing for my remaining 3 sane brain cells, yes.
Where to go when you need TMI
The NY tabloids of course,
TMI
Now, if you want to give it a miss, I understand but don't want you to miss the high points, it is a gold lame leopard print thong with flames along the waistband belonging to Jason Giambi to which the article refers. Players wear it to break a hitting slump. It is washed in between wearings. And I'm guessing unless Giambi starts hitting real soon, he's going to be the only one wearing it for a time.
Knowing that my own mothership had several ironclad rules, I can only imagine how appalled the mothership of J. Giambi is to read on the front page of the NYDailyNews about her son sharing his panties.
TMI
Now, if you want to give it a miss, I understand but don't want you to miss the high points, it is a gold lame leopard print thong with flames along the waistband belonging to Jason Giambi to which the article refers. Players wear it to break a hitting slump. It is washed in between wearings. And I'm guessing unless Giambi starts hitting real soon, he's going to be the only one wearing it for a time.
Knowing that my own mothership had several ironclad rules, I can only imagine how appalled the mothership of J. Giambi is to read on the front page of the NYDailyNews about her son sharing his panties.
16 May 2008
Love this
and if I knew to whom to attribute it, I would, in a hot minute.
An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too." They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one I feed."
An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too." They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one I feed."
15 May 2008
Hmmm
What does it say about me that I wanted to call in sick to work to go to Ithaca for a hunger strike? And then what does it say that I won't do it?
I've been to Buddha Camp with these folks and they're good souls. Being around the monks was truly one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Anyway, more about them here Namgyal Ithaca
Dear Students and Friends,
The Namgyal Venerable Monks, along with the Tibetan Association of Ithaca, will be leading a two-day Tibetan Sympathetic and Solidarity Hunger Strike on May 16 – 17, 2008, in honor of Tibetans who have lost their lives, those who still suffer under Chinese rule for the cause of Tibetan freedom, and to further raise awareness and highlight the urgent need for the following actions in Tibet:
· The opening of a concrete dialogue between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Chinese government
· The United Nations sending an independent international envoy to fully investigate the human rights situation in Tibet
· The Chinese government allowing doctors and medical equipment into Tibet, extending immediate care to those in need of medical attention
· The Chinese government releasing all monks and lay persons currently imprisoned for engaging in human rights protests in Tibet
· The Chinese government ending the killings and torture of innocent Tibetans throughout the whole of Tibet
· The Chinese government allowing international media into Tibet, for unobstructed free press throughout the whole of Tibet
The Namgyal Venerable Monks and Tibetan Association members will be at the Ithaca Commons, Center Pavilion, from 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM on Friday and Saturday, May 16 & 17, where they will be engaged in meditation, prayers for the cause of Tibetan freedom and world peace, and dedication prayers for those who have passed in the struggle for a free Tibet. Namgyal students, friends and community members are welcome to participate in each full-day 12-hour fast, or for any amount of time throughout each day of the two-day Tibetan Sympathetic and Solidarity Hunger Strike.
With warm regards,
Namgyal Monastery
Venue: Ithaca Commons, Center Pavilion
Time: Friday May 16th, 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM
Saturday May 17th, 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM
I've been to Buddha Camp with these folks and they're good souls. Being around the monks was truly one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Anyway, more about them here Namgyal Ithaca
Dear Students and Friends,
The Namgyal Venerable Monks, along with the Tibetan Association of Ithaca, will be leading a two-day Tibetan Sympathetic and Solidarity Hunger Strike on May 16 – 17, 2008, in honor of Tibetans who have lost their lives, those who still suffer under Chinese rule for the cause of Tibetan freedom, and to further raise awareness and highlight the urgent need for the following actions in Tibet:
· The opening of a concrete dialogue between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Chinese government
· The United Nations sending an independent international envoy to fully investigate the human rights situation in Tibet
· The Chinese government allowing doctors and medical equipment into Tibet, extending immediate care to those in need of medical attention
· The Chinese government releasing all monks and lay persons currently imprisoned for engaging in human rights protests in Tibet
· The Chinese government ending the killings and torture of innocent Tibetans throughout the whole of Tibet
· The Chinese government allowing international media into Tibet, for unobstructed free press throughout the whole of Tibet
The Namgyal Venerable Monks and Tibetan Association members will be at the Ithaca Commons, Center Pavilion, from 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM on Friday and Saturday, May 16 & 17, where they will be engaged in meditation, prayers for the cause of Tibetan freedom and world peace, and dedication prayers for those who have passed in the struggle for a free Tibet. Namgyal students, friends and community members are welcome to participate in each full-day 12-hour fast, or for any amount of time throughout each day of the two-day Tibetan Sympathetic and Solidarity Hunger Strike.
With warm regards,
Namgyal Monastery
Venue: Ithaca Commons, Center Pavilion
Time: Friday May 16th, 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM
Saturday May 17th, 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM
14 May 2008
My Consiglieri and Me
So have you ever walked into a room, perhaps hostile to the subject at hand or not, but seemingly completely unwittingly set in motion a series of choices that changes your life forever? It has happened to me, more than once within the last 10 -15 years and I’ve been lucky enough to be paying sufficient attention to at least be able to look back and see just what it is I’ve set in motion.
In October of 1994, my friend Barb told me about Aikido, a martial art I knew very little about but hey, it was martial, it was art, I went and watched the class she was taking, and I signed up. Met some new people, learned all kinds of new and mostly good things about myself. Then in December 2000, I’m on the phone with my friend IJJ and I am supposed to be studying for a final in The Economics of Healthcare and after hanging up with IJJ, I sit and read the stuff for the zillionth time and say to myself, self something’s gotta give. So back to Aikido (which by the way is where I’d met IJJ) my Sensei is finishing up his course of study at Somerset School of Massage. And something resonated with me as massage was something I’d always wanted to do, and would usually do for anyone that’d stand still for it. So by March 2001, I’m enrolled for the June 2001-2002 12 month class at SSMT. Now, I’d always enjoyed school, always enjoy learning stuff and I was enraptured by massage school, anatomy, grease, the whole bit.
It’s useful to note, that at this point I had so many rough edges still that it’d be fair to call me prickly or even nuts, because I was but that’s a story for another day. Well, 3 months, almost to the day of starting massage school was 9-11-01 and knowing what I know now about energy and so forth – there was a major energetic shift on the planet. But at that point, I knew very little of energy but can recognize the energetic shift in hindsight. In November of 2001, there came the weekend that marks almost the halfway point of massage school – Experience Weekend, or let’s pimp the continuing ed to a captive audience for 2 days. Basically each of the continuing ed instructors, presented an hour and a half or so, on whatever their particular offering was. So I was quite excited about the Neuromuscular Therapy, Shiatsu, all the hands on stuff, Chi Kung was interesting but still a little ‘wifty’ for me. So Sunday morning, my cohort Ro drags me into the front row of Reiki which to me seems to be all wifty all the time. I’m not a front row dweller, generally preferring to take the smart ass back corner by the window seat. But here we were front and center and my body language was resistant, ok, it was hostile, arms crossed over my chest, legs crossed and the steely weather eye ball cast upon the presenters.
The main presenters were 2 reiki master candidates, and a Reiki master. Now I will say this about that, the Reiki Master – A – pure eye candy. Looks like Angelina Jolie’s taller sister. The Reiki master candidates – E had and has the kindest eyes and L radiates life force – if you’d not ever seen a force of nature before you might not know what to look for, I have seen quite a few in my time and L is certainly one of them. So there was talk of energy – ki – which of course, I knew of from Aikido, and one does not develop at least some skills at chucking people around the room without a decent working knowledge of ki. Then there’s Rei, now in my training Rei means to honor, but in reiki they refer to rei as universal or spiritual. And when combined into reiki it’s universal life force energy, which surrounds and is in everything. Everyone has some natural ability to be tuned into this life force energy but the study and practice of reiki increases your connectedness. And by the way, at the time I WAS BUYING NONE OF IT, wouldn’t have taken a free coupon had one been offered. So they had us offer one another Reiki, and here I am sitting in the front row, thinking what the fuck so loudly, I’d bet it was audible. Ro had placed her hands on my head then shoulders in the demonstrated style and then someone else came over and put a hand on the back of my left shoulder. It felt as if my heart shifted from right to left in my chest and my body started to hum. Tripped me out. Now, one would not ever refer to me as a kinetic person, I am much more of a slave to inertia and momentum, but after this I had to go outside and jump up and down and my 30 year battle with insomnia was won. Yes, after one hands on deal from something I was absolutely resistant to, A still tells stories about this. And to make an exceedingly long story short, the first continuing ed class I signed on for was Reiki 1, then Reiki 2, then Advanced Practitioner and 2 years later I found myself in the Reiki Master course. The Reiki Master course as practiced by the Center of Living Light (purveyors of Reiki and Light) is a year long adventure where the coursework is centered mainly around one subject and that subject was me. So whilst, I was doing the formal monthly coursework with A, L and I had become close friends and she helped guide me down the road of what I like to call who the fuck am I and what have I done with the real me? She really did the heavy lifting to get me to where and who I am today. And for that I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, and if you know me now and didn’t know me before you should be too. And if you know me now and knew me before you’re still in freakin’ awe.
So to illustrate, when I first started in this RMC (Reiki Master Candidate), I was so disinclined to discuss my feelings, I would not use the word ‘feelings’ preferring instead to call them the ‘f’ word. Hell, disinclined to discuss I was disinclined to admit I had any feelings ever about anything. So, L, helped me to cross that divide and not by dragging me kicking and screaming although sometimes I felt that might have been funner or at least funnier. But by gently asking questions, and going all the way into what the shit was really about, and what core of feelings I was actually trying to handle or more accurately trying to not handle. (I will engage in a certain amount of this with people who seek it, but I’m a blunt instrument where L is finely tuned, insightful and brilliant) Also, there is the whole business of decoding the messages the universe tries to hip us up with, and there were so many messages, I didn’t want to see or hear, but I was never alone in having to deal with them. So I did, and that I think has made much of the difference in allowing me to completely change my life.
I am blessed with several friends named L and to distinguish them this L is referred to as my consigliere, she’s a very gifted one and I was lucky to have been led to make all the different choices that led me to this place and this time, with this consigliere. So if you read all this way, would you be so kind as to send L good energy and a warm thought? Thanks, we appreciate it.
In October of 1994, my friend Barb told me about Aikido, a martial art I knew very little about but hey, it was martial, it was art, I went and watched the class she was taking, and I signed up. Met some new people, learned all kinds of new and mostly good things about myself. Then in December 2000, I’m on the phone with my friend IJJ and I am supposed to be studying for a final in The Economics of Healthcare and after hanging up with IJJ, I sit and read the stuff for the zillionth time and say to myself, self something’s gotta give. So back to Aikido (which by the way is where I’d met IJJ) my Sensei is finishing up his course of study at Somerset School of Massage. And something resonated with me as massage was something I’d always wanted to do, and would usually do for anyone that’d stand still for it. So by March 2001, I’m enrolled for the June 2001-2002 12 month class at SSMT. Now, I’d always enjoyed school, always enjoy learning stuff and I was enraptured by massage school, anatomy, grease, the whole bit.
It’s useful to note, that at this point I had so many rough edges still that it’d be fair to call me prickly or even nuts, because I was but that’s a story for another day. Well, 3 months, almost to the day of starting massage school was 9-11-01 and knowing what I know now about energy and so forth – there was a major energetic shift on the planet. But at that point, I knew very little of energy but can recognize the energetic shift in hindsight. In November of 2001, there came the weekend that marks almost the halfway point of massage school – Experience Weekend, or let’s pimp the continuing ed to a captive audience for 2 days. Basically each of the continuing ed instructors, presented an hour and a half or so, on whatever their particular offering was. So I was quite excited about the Neuromuscular Therapy, Shiatsu, all the hands on stuff, Chi Kung was interesting but still a little ‘wifty’ for me. So Sunday morning, my cohort Ro drags me into the front row of Reiki which to me seems to be all wifty all the time. I’m not a front row dweller, generally preferring to take the smart ass back corner by the window seat. But here we were front and center and my body language was resistant, ok, it was hostile, arms crossed over my chest, legs crossed and the steely weather eye ball cast upon the presenters.
The main presenters were 2 reiki master candidates, and a Reiki master. Now I will say this about that, the Reiki Master – A – pure eye candy. Looks like Angelina Jolie’s taller sister. The Reiki master candidates – E had and has the kindest eyes and L radiates life force – if you’d not ever seen a force of nature before you might not know what to look for, I have seen quite a few in my time and L is certainly one of them. So there was talk of energy – ki – which of course, I knew of from Aikido, and one does not develop at least some skills at chucking people around the room without a decent working knowledge of ki. Then there’s Rei, now in my training Rei means to honor, but in reiki they refer to rei as universal or spiritual. And when combined into reiki it’s universal life force energy, which surrounds and is in everything. Everyone has some natural ability to be tuned into this life force energy but the study and practice of reiki increases your connectedness. And by the way, at the time I WAS BUYING NONE OF IT, wouldn’t have taken a free coupon had one been offered. So they had us offer one another Reiki, and here I am sitting in the front row, thinking what the fuck so loudly, I’d bet it was audible. Ro had placed her hands on my head then shoulders in the demonstrated style and then someone else came over and put a hand on the back of my left shoulder. It felt as if my heart shifted from right to left in my chest and my body started to hum. Tripped me out. Now, one would not ever refer to me as a kinetic person, I am much more of a slave to inertia and momentum, but after this I had to go outside and jump up and down and my 30 year battle with insomnia was won. Yes, after one hands on deal from something I was absolutely resistant to, A still tells stories about this. And to make an exceedingly long story short, the first continuing ed class I signed on for was Reiki 1, then Reiki 2, then Advanced Practitioner and 2 years later I found myself in the Reiki Master course. The Reiki Master course as practiced by the Center of Living Light (purveyors of Reiki and Light) is a year long adventure where the coursework is centered mainly around one subject and that subject was me. So whilst, I was doing the formal monthly coursework with A, L and I had become close friends and she helped guide me down the road of what I like to call who the fuck am I and what have I done with the real me? She really did the heavy lifting to get me to where and who I am today. And for that I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, and if you know me now and didn’t know me before you should be too. And if you know me now and knew me before you’re still in freakin’ awe.
So to illustrate, when I first started in this RMC (Reiki Master Candidate), I was so disinclined to discuss my feelings, I would not use the word ‘feelings’ preferring instead to call them the ‘f’ word. Hell, disinclined to discuss I was disinclined to admit I had any feelings ever about anything. So, L, helped me to cross that divide and not by dragging me kicking and screaming although sometimes I felt that might have been funner or at least funnier. But by gently asking questions, and going all the way into what the shit was really about, and what core of feelings I was actually trying to handle or more accurately trying to not handle. (I will engage in a certain amount of this with people who seek it, but I’m a blunt instrument where L is finely tuned, insightful and brilliant) Also, there is the whole business of decoding the messages the universe tries to hip us up with, and there were so many messages, I didn’t want to see or hear, but I was never alone in having to deal with them. So I did, and that I think has made much of the difference in allowing me to completely change my life.
I am blessed with several friends named L and to distinguish them this L is referred to as my consigliere, she’s a very gifted one and I was lucky to have been led to make all the different choices that led me to this place and this time, with this consigliere. So if you read all this way, would you be so kind as to send L good energy and a warm thought? Thanks, we appreciate it.
13 May 2008
Meme thingy
OK...I saw this meme on Shazza's Blog
http://randomthoughtsandactsofstupidty.blogspot.com
I didn't want to be left out so I did it too!
How to: put your itunes/ipod on shuffle and press next for each question. write down the song that's playing as an answer.
If anything, it's a good way to see what kind of music is on other peoples iPods. And just how many Rolling Stones songs I've got on this ipod.
1) How would you describe yourself? Damn, I wish I was your Lover Sophie B Hawkins
2) What do you like in a guy/girl? Push It Salt n Pepa
3) What is your motto? Early in the Morning Robert Palmer
4) What do your friends think of you? It's Only Make Believe Robert Gordon
5) What do you think about often? I touch Myself The Divinyls
6) What do your parents think of you? Say Hey, Crystal Waters
7) What do you think of your best friend? Wasted On the Way Crosby Stills Nash and Young
8) What do you think of the person you like? Offshore Chicane
9) What do you want to be when you grow up? Wondering Where the Lions Are, Bruce Cockburn
10) What do you think when you see the person you like? Waiting on a Friend Rolling Stones
11) What song will they play at your wedding? Vertigo U2
12) What will they play at your funeral? Beautiful Day U2
13) What is your hobby/interest? She's a Beauty - The Tubes
14) What is your biggest fear? Too Much Time on My Hands Styx
15) What is your biggest secret? Cecelia Simon and Garfunkel
16) What do you think of your friends? First Cut is the Deepest Cheryl Crow
17) What is your theme song? She Was Hot - Rolling Stones
18) What do you think of your family?Under Pressure Queen and David Bowie
19) What is your best friend's theme song? Inside Out Phil Collins
20) What is your mood right now? Rumble Doll Patti Scialfa
21) If your heart could talk what would it say? I need a lover Pat Benatar
22) What do your co-workers think of you? You Shook Me All Night Long Melissa Etheridge
23) What does your future look like? Somewhere In Between Lifehouse
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