What a way to start the day...

When I was young, nubile and tactful, shut up, I was young once, I had both an off switch and an internal censor. After 20 exceedingly odd years at this job, the censor has been worn away. This morning someone phoned me inadvertently and needed to speak to someone who could assist them, so I volunteered to switch their phone call to such a person, because I'm sporty like that. The party on the phone asked if I'd be switching them to a live person. My response was "Define live."