Nobody Knows the Crazy She's Seen

I have a very close friend who has a set of siblings that should have their very own section of the DSM-IV. They are JFN (just fucking nuts, which another friend of mine says is the only DSM-IV code). One is crazier than the next, and they manage to put the fun in dysfunction and then there's this whole matter of never having returned from the class trip down denial. So the latest episode is that my friends oldest sister is looking a bit cyan of late (that'd be blue, and not the depressed kind) and BTW my friend is a nurse, old school, very experienced, knows her shit, 'nuff said. So crazy, blue, and behaving in a confused fashion, and my friend is, not without good reason, concerned about this potentially being a cardiac issue. My friend, we'll call her Helen, and her sister, we'll call her Blue, have lunch yesterday and Helen diplomatically says to Blue, "you need to see a doctor, your kids are worried and you look like hammered shit." Helen, unlike the rest of the siblings, is a direct sort. Soooo, enter Helen's other sister, who we'll call Bat because she's batshit whacko. And Blue's daughter, Mini Blue. Mini Blue calls Helen in a dither, (mini Blue is usually in a dither) that she doesn't know if she's going to be able to get her mom to go to the doctor. Haven't these people ever heard of guilt? Barring that, 911? So, Mini Blue calls her mom's doc and was told to bring her mother to the ER right quick. So MB is parked outside her mothers house and calls H to ask her where her mother might be (yes, the right answer is, in fact, I don't know, it's not my turn to watch her.) H calls Bat, Bat had just been dropped off from lunch by Blue so Blue was en route and Bat had a snootful. When Blue doesn't show up for about 20 minutes, the parties all exchange worried phone calls and Bat wants to go out looking for her. The Bat mobile has tires that have seen better days, no one is sure that she's got brakes and there's just no reason for Bat with a snootful to go trolling for her sister. Blue shows up fairly shortly after H talked Bat out of going out on the prowl. Mini Blue attempts to spirit her off to the ER and she is having none of it. By none, I mean none but MB would not leave until she elicited a promise that Blue would take her blue ass to the doctor. The doctor in this case being the orthopedic surgeon with whom she has discussed the replacement of her knees. I have it on good authority that orthopedic surgeons will no perform knee replacements on people who are sufficiently cyanotic that they are referred to as blue.